Trailer: "Machete" Will Blow Your Mind

I do not have any freakin clue what "Machete" is about but I'm not sure that really matters. From what I can tell Danny Trejo plays a guy who is "double crossed" and then starts cutting people up. Then Cheech Marin, who plays a priest, mind you, decides he wants to help so he blows up some cars. Then Jessica Alba comes out and does some really bad acting. Then Lindsay Lohan dresses up like a nun and shoots people in the face. Oh and Steven Seagal and Don Johnson are there too. I'm sure I'm forgetting something but it doesn't really matter. You can check out the new trailer for yourself below.

Oh yeah Michelle Rodriguez has an eye patch and a leather bra!