Horror Headlines: Thursday February 11th, 2009

Good news for fans of "The Book of Eli" and "From Hell": Sibling directors The Hughes Brothers are slated to lense the live-action adaptation of Katsuhiro Otomo's graphic novel "Akira". I tap my chin worriedly, though I am intrigued by the idea. I also like Vanilla Coke, so go figure.

Thanks to the fine, opportunistic folks working behind-the-scenes at Sony Pictures, James Cameron's underwater epic "Pirahna II: The Spawning" will arrive on DVD this April. If you ever get the opportunity to procure Cameron's autograph, be sure to bring your copy of the film along for the ride. I'm sure he'll appreciate the joke.

Speaking of DVD release dates, E1 Entertainment has picked up North American distribution rights for director Fruit Chan's ambitious remake of Hideo Nakata's supernatural freakshow "Don't Look Up." The film stars Henry Thomas, and Kevin Corrigan, and Eli Roth. Yes, I said Eli Roth. Got a problem with that?

In Real People News: 

Although I'm honestly not that surprised, it turns out that grandmothers enjoy smoking crack before embarking on a high-speed police chases. I've also heard that AARP gives unbelievable discounts on illegal narcotics to all its card-carrying members. I can't wait to get old!

Grandfathers, on the other hand, are a little different. Instead of drugs and violence, they prefer to flush stink bombs down toilets and spray so-called "fart spray" inside Wal-Marts. I suppose its beats the old "pull my finger" routine, though not by much.

On this day in history: 

2006 - Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shoots Harry Whittington in the face during a hunting trip gone painfully awry.