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Horror Headlines: Friday March 13th, 2009

The Wes Craven produced "Last House on the Left" remake hits theaters everywhere today. Expect a review for it some time tomorrow, in the meantime feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments.

Oh Snap! New Line Cinema has announced that it's releasing "Final Destination: Death Trip 3D" against Rob Zombie's "H2". That date would be August 28th, 2009. For those unfamiliar with this, "H2" has been "served", it is now their opportunity to "serve back". If they do, then it's officially "on". In which case we settle all of this with a dance-off. Oooohhh, how exciting!

Valerie Cruz (Dexter), has been cast on the next season of HBO's "True Blood". We used to cover it when the site, but stopped when fan interest seemed to wain. What do you guys think, is anyone out there interested in having us pick up coverage again? Informal poll in the comments!

Trailer for "Orphan", starring Peter Sarsgaard and Vera Farmiga, about "a husband and wife who recently lost their baby [who] adopt a 9-year-old girl who is not nearly as innocent as she claims to be". Seems to be lots of evil kid movies lately. Wonder if there's something to that.

The "Night of the Demons" remake has a release date, October 9th 2009. Suspiciously absent from this announcement, whether or not it's going wide theatrically. I refuse to believe a film starring Edward Furlong, Tiffany Shepis and Linnea Quigley is playing across the country in 2009. Not that I wouldn't love to see it happen, but let's be realistic here people.

Speaking of wide releases, the remake of Stephen King's "IT" is going to be an "all out theatrical" adaptation set "in present day". I do enjoy the original miniseries, although I think we can all agree that the finale needs a much needed special FX upgrade, so I'm interested to see how this reboot turns out.

In Real People News: 

If you're practicing bestiality on Florida, better hurry up! The long overdue ban is due any day now. Better party like it's 1999, yall.

Good news, the fraud going on in Iraq at the hands of US corporations is actually far worse than anything Bernie Madoff's done in the last 30 years. Oh wait... that's actually horribly depressing news. I'm really bad at this.

One more dose of awesomely ironic hilarity for you on this Friday. Monkey kills owner with coconut for making him pick coconuts out of trees all day. That's it, you've been a great crowd this week folks... till Monday!

On this day in history: 

1881: An anarchist from the radical group People's Will throws a bomb which disrupts Czar Alexander II's motorcade. After he thanks God for his deliverance, the anarchist yells "It is too early to thank God" and throws a second bomb, causing injuries from which Alexander bleeds to death.

Horror Headlines: Thursday March 12th, 2009

Spanish director Juan Carlos Fresnadillo will be directing a remake of the 1963 Roger Corman flick "X: The Man with the X Ray Eyes". Never seen it myself, but as long as it doesn't turn out like "Hollowman" I'll be happy. Fresnadillo, for his part, directed the recent "28 Weeks Later".

Alex Proyas, director of "I, Robot", really hates FOX. He's so bitter over their tinkering and ridiculous orders (jokes! jokes! jokes!) that he's actually warning filmmakers off of working with them, and apparently, telling CHUD all about it. It's good to at least have a director speaking out about this. How is it that the studio that released "Meet Dave", "Space Chimps", "What Happens in Vegas", "27 Dresses" and "Jumper" ALL IN THE SAME YEAR is still allowed to make movies? I think it's time for someone to break out the "bad monkey stick".

Here's a look at some hi-res stills for "Lesbian Vampire Killers". And yes, all the red blooded males are probably going to want to click on that.

Planning on attending this year's Tribeca Film Festival in New York? Here's the midnight screening schedule, where they put all the genre films airing at the fest.

In Real People News: 

Horse bites off man's wiener. Somewhere right now, Eric Cartman is celebrating his victory.

Chinese woman has "howled" through the streets of her hometown for 26 years. Residents of the small town are used to it, claiming she's something like an "air alarm". Oh China, doesn't anything surprise you anymore?

Yorkshire is being overrun with massive colonies of rats, and yet all I can think of when I read this story is "The Rat King" from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Go figure.

On this day in history: 

1888: The massive and unexpected Blizzard of 1888 strikes the East coast of the United States, paralyzing New York and many other cities and leaving at least 400 dead. Snowdrifts fifty feet high were reported, and New York received over 40 inches of snow.

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