troll hunter remake

Horror Headlines: Friday April 29th, 2011

Elizabeth Banks is the latest name to be added to the cast of "The Hunger Games", a post apocalyptic flick that centers around a group of children who are sent to battle each other for their homelands. No clue what role Banks will play but if I was a betting man I'd say she isn't going to be one of the children. Unless they do that weird CGI adult head on a baby. But that's just creepy and no one wants to see that. Ever.

A couple of new stills and a poster have popped up on the tubes for Lars Von Trier's upcoming end of the world film "Melancholia". I don't care how many posters, stills or trailers they release for this movie that tell me otherwise I am 100% positive someone is getting a hammer to the penis in this film. You can't fool me Lars! You crafty son of a bitch.

As far as I know R.L. Stine's work has never made it to the big screen but it looks like that's about to change. While we wait for a Goosebumps movie to come to life his book "It's the First Day of School" has been picked up by the Holly of Woods and will be coming to the silver screen in the near future. I'm already looking to enjoying how uncomfortable it's going to be sitting along in a theater full of children because I have to watch this for the podcast. Piss off, Chris Hanson, I have to be here!

Well I can't say I'm surprised but I also can't say I'm excited. "Troll Hunter", my favorite movie of all time this week is going to see a U.S. remake in the near future. While nothing has been signed the film's director André Øvredal has confirmed the remake will be happening but the good news is he sounds positive about it. Or at least that's what people think, everything those Norwegians say sounds like the recording of a talking German robot being played backwards.

In Real People News: 

A 24 year old Australian man is going on trial for the murder of his roommate after they got into an argument after he refused to turn off his Limp Bizkit CD. If my roommate in college tried to murder me every time I forced him to listen to Limp Bizkit I wouldn't have made it past the first week. Durst fans, we need to unite.

Wait it's illegal to drive around McDonald's parking lot and run over ducks? Since when!? Who gives a crap about ducks? F this crap. I say we all drive to Michigan and demand this man be released! He isn't in jail you say? Well let's demand he be put in there and then released immediately.

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