The Green Inferno

Horror Headlines: Thursday, May 17th, 2011

If there's one thing I think of when people mention the crowd at Comic-Con it's "these guys love to exercise". So everyone will be in for a treat this July when the The Walking Dead Escape: San Diego is unveiled to celebrate the comics 100th issue. Visitors will be able to play the role of a zombie, a survivor or a spectator in an evacuation zone. I can already hear the wheezing and smell the BO.

Hold the phones folks, Eli Roth is going to direct a movie. It's called "The Green Inferno" and I have no idea what it's about but it's going to be filming in Chili and Roth co-wrote the screenplay with Guillermo Amoedo. Did you hold your phone? You really don't get the full effect unless you're holding your phone right now.

Dimension Films has picked up the rights to "Compulsion", a new film starting Heather Graham and Carrie-Anne Moss. Remember the joke I made about Carrie-Anne Moss earlier in the week? Man that was funny huh? Anyway no release date has been announced for the remake of a Japanese film about two neighbors who find themselves on the opposite sides of the luck pole. I don't know if there's such a thing as a luck pole but I wish I had thought of that when I was single. Think about it.

John Cusack and Elijah Wood in the same movie? Oh my lukewarm excitement. The film is called "The Grand Pioano" and Cusack is just in talks right now but the film is about a pianist who finds a note saying he'll die if he plays one note wrong. Wood will play the pianist and Cusack the lovable geek who ends up getting the girl. That might be a lie.

In Real People News: 

A Wisconsin man has taken to picketing at an all you can eat buffet after he was cut off from the food line when he devoured 12 plates full during their fish fry night. Normally I think protesting is stupid and useless but in this case I fully support this man. You've got to stand for something.

A 67 year old man may have possibly died in the greatest way possible, at a strip club. More importantly he died at a strip club after getting a night full of lap dances and before he paid his tab. Dare to dream.

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