I'm very excited to announce that the PA who is responsible for updating Slash's twitter account recently decided to start following us. For that reason alone I have nothing bad to say about "Nothing Left to Fear", a new horror flick that Slash is producing about a family who moves into a small town only to find they're a part of a strange ritual. I will however mock Canada, which will now be able to see the film thanks to Raven Banner which recently picked up the rights to distribute the film up in America's hat. I mean I'm not going to do it here. I just want it to be known that I will mock them.
Remember the 2006 film "See No Evil"? That's right it's that movie you saw on the selves and thought, "hey isn't that Kane from the WWF?!" and then moved on. Well it looks like the powers that be have decided the film needs a sequel and that it needs to be directed by Jen and Sylvia Soska AKA the Twisted Twins. For those of you keeping track at home the duo was responsible for "American Mary", which we all went gaga over on the podcast recently. So I have no idea what the hell is going to come out of it but I'm 99% sure Mark is going to love it.
While nothing is confirmed there's some news out there in the interwebs that Carey and Chad Hayes, the brothers who wrote "The Conjuring", are looking at a story in the Warren archives about two sisters in England who were reportedly possessed in the late 70s for the follow up to this year's hit film. Isn't it nice that we've had two stories about twins in today's news? Makes me feel all warm inside. Also a little uncomfortable before twins are creepy as hell and unnatural.
I'm not saying this is right or wrong but it looks like the Weinstein company is asking that 20 minutes be cut from Bong Joon-ho's "Snowpiercer" before it hits US theaters. The reason for the request is that the company wants to make sure us folks in the midwest can understand the story, which focuses on a group of survivors traveling on a train after the world has frozen over. I mean the current running time is 126 minutes... so ya know... I'm not saying anything.
In Real People News:
Good news kids! They've cloned beef in the UK, grilled it up into a burger and confirmed it tastes "close to meat". Insert your own White Castle jokes here.
A Washington man is facing felony charges because he reportedly blew up his dog because he thought his ex-girlfriend put the devil inside of it. I mean I don't condone hurting animals but let's be honest on the off chance that the devil was in fact inside the dog don't you feel better know that it's in a thousand little pieces on this guy's front lawn right now rather than roaming the streets? Me too.
"Nothing Left to Fear" is a new horror film being produced by Slash that follows a family who move into a small town and find they're living near one of the gates to hell. It's just been slapped with an October 5th limited theater run before coming to DVD and Blu-Ray on October 8th. Little known fact, Slash has a belly button ring. That top hat isn't so cool anymore is it?
Sony Pictures has picked up the rights to "Grace", a new horror flick that is shown entirely through the eyes of an 18 year old girl being terrorized by evil forces. Alexia Fast will play the lead role and Alan Dale, Lin Shaye and Joel David Moore will co-star. I'm just going to come out and say what we're all thinking. People with three names are unnatural.
A couple days ago I mentioned how it looked like "Paranormal Activity 5" was going to be pushed to a 2014 release date rather than its planned October 25th, 2013 launch. Well now it looks like the film actually won't see the light of day until October 2014 and instead we'll see the Spanish spin off film in January. Well you'll see it. I won't. I don't speak Spanish and I have no desire to see it. Unless those strippers from the Telemundo evening news are in it. Then I'm onboard.
Of course there's a "Sharknado" sequel coming. You ironic pricks on twitter made this happen. God have mercy on your soul.
In Real People News:
It's only July but I believe we have found our mother of the year in the form of this 25 year old Florida woman who left her 3 and 4 year old children in the car while she went to a Lil Wayne concert. Bravo!
Of course I might have spoken too soon. Here's a Texas woman who burnt her son's mouth with a spoon and hit him with a screwdriver as punishment for... well being her son I guess. It's a toss up who wins this really.