Jason Clarke

Horror Headlines: Wednesday February 20th, 2013

It's confirmed folks, "Star Wars" "Jurassic Park". I know it seems kind of obvious but Kathleen Kennedy has made it official by stepping down from the producer role on the fourth installment of the dino series in order to take on that role in the next "Star Wars" film. Han Solo battling a T-Rex. Now that's a movie I'd like to see.

Jason Clarke, of big old drunk in "Lawless" fame, is the latest name to be tagged to "Dawn of the Planet of the Apes". No real word on what role he'll play but I swear to god if there's a drinking monkey in this movie it will be my favorite film of the year.

Because it would kill me to go more than three days without some casting news for the new "Zombieland" series coming to Amazon here's some news about Kirk Ward being confirmed for a role. Ward will play one of the leads in the series, I assume based solely on the fact that he looks a lot like Woody Harrelson.

I don't know why you have to make a movie about a clown returning from the grave to bring vengeance on a group of kids that let him die but "Stitches" is just such a film. It's also a film that's been slapped with an April 1st release date on VOD and Blu-Ray. April fools day, I get it. Honestly though they could just show a bunch of real clowns sitting around drinking coffee and it would be scary as hell.

In Real People News: 

The new law I learned this week? Apparently it's illegal to drive around Michigan while sucking on a dildo. Put it in the books.

It's got to be exciting when you win the lottery. So exciting that you'll probably want to throw a party. Maybe such a big party that you mistakenly blow up your house while torching up some meth. It is nice to see some younger folks winning for once at least.

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