Highlander

Horror Headlines: Thursday, June 28th, 2012

There's a new trailer for the "Total Recall" remake out but that's not the big news here. The big news is that in the trailer we have 100% confirmation that there's a 3 boobied hooker. I know, I can barely type I'm so excited. This might be the greatest day in the history of the world.

There can only be one "Highlander"! Well actually there can be multiple. There was for sure a sequel and now there's a remake of the 1986 cult classic that I've never seen. But I might see the remake, because Ryan Reynolds has been confirmed to be taking the lead in the film. I'm not going to go into why I will see it now because of him. I don't have to explain myself to you.

Sing this with me. I... like... movies with Danny Trejo. Charlie Sheen playing the president. And.. AND... TWINS! Remember those commercials?! Well I do and I'm talking about Elise and Electra Avellan being added to the cast of "Machete Kills". For those of you who don't follow the work of Robert Rodriguez the Avellan twins were those two girls from "Planet Terror" and the original "Machete" flick. Your move, 3 boobied alien.

For those of you who have been waiting with baited breath for the new "Carrie" remake I have the honor or breaking the news to you that production has officially begun in Toronto. For those of you who love freedom and hate maple syrup I have to misfortune of telling you that the "Carrie" remake has begun production in Toronto.

In Real People News: 

Here's a Seattle man who loves flashing so much that he stopped off on his way to court to flash some people. What was he on his way to court for? Well if I have to tell you that then you probably don't get any of my comic wit now do you.

When you're a pizza delivery lady and you come back to your car after making a drop off to find a naked man attacking your car and claiming it's his it's really best to just let him do his thing. That's just sound advice if you ask me.

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