Horror Headlines: Tuesday July 12th, 2011

"I Saw the Devil" director Kim ji-Woon has lined up "The Last Stand" as his official entry into the world of English cinema. The movie will focus on drug lord trying to make his way down to Mexico and the sheriff hellbent on stopping him. Even better news it that Arnold Schwarzenegger himself will take on the role of said sheriff. Estaré de vuelta! According to Google that's "I'll be back" in Spanish.

Ray Liotta, Christian Slater and Ving Rhames in a straight to DVD thriller? Oh how the mighty have fallen. The movie is "The River Murders" and it's about a giant river that comes to life and murders people. Alright that's a lie, it's about a detective, played by Liotta, who is trying to hunt down a murderer who is taking out his ex-girlfriends one by one. I'm not sure I'd really work that hard to stop something like this. Sounds like someone's doing him a favor. Maybe send one of those Edible Arrangements.

Been waiting a long time for the next installment in the "Evil Dead" series? Well it looks like you might not have to wait much longer. Maybe. Word around campus is long time Sam Raimi collaborator and editor Bob Murawski has descended on Detroit to begin production on the film. If it's true it looks like the long delayed project could begin shooting sometime in the near future. If it isn't true I just look like I believe everything I read on the internet. Which I see absolutely no reason to stop doing.

Last week the internet was all abuzz with the rumor that Spike Lee might be hopping into the director's chair for the US remake of the Chan-wook Park's "Oldboy" and now it looks like he's officially been confirmed. So that happened. Feel free to go back to last week's news and read the hilarious jokes I put in the post about the rumor. I think there was something about America being awesome. Which of course is no joke. Rock, flag and eagle!

In Real People News: 

Michael Todd, bassist for the awful rock band Coheed and Cambria was arrested this past weekend after he stole Oxycontin from a Walgreen’s pharmacy. Now if only the rest of the band would be picked up on charges of making terrible music I could go to sleep a happy man tonight. So in summery, I hate Coheed and Cambria.

A 57 year old man in Ireland is under arrested after his girlfriend died of an apparently allergic reaction to dog sperm. Let that sentence sink in for a minute. Alright let's move on. The two apparently met in a bestiality chat room and eventually agreed to meet in order to let the lovely lass go to town with the gentleman's dog. Later on she developed a severe reaction to the "aftermath" and eventually died at a local hospital. Interesting part here, and I feel sick saying this, is that he's not under arrest because she died but rather for allowing the dog to have sex with her in the first place. It's a terrible way to get caught for the crime though.

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