Horror Headlines: Thursday, April 26th, 2011

During my senior year of High School there was about a 2 week period where branding was all the rage. When I say branding I mean heating up a chunk of metal and permanently scarring yourself with some sort of clever symbol like a shamrock or letter. The point here is that I have scarred two people for life and if anyone wants to be number three I'll be more than happy to tag you with a white hot coat hanger at Horror Hound Weekend this coming September. Book your hotel room now.

Sometimes I lie awake at night worried about Andrea Riseborough. She's so pale and looks so sickly. Is she ok!? Someone please help her! I might be able to sleep a little better now though since she's been cast opposite Alexander Skarsgard in the new virus outbreak flick "Hidden". The movie focuses on a family who's hiding out in a bomb shelter after a strange virus starts to spread across the land. Please Andrea, use the money from this to get yourself some McNuggets. It may be your only hope.

If you've read "Blood Of Eden" then there's a good chance you're a 14 year old girl. Or you're on some sort of police watch list. Either way I guess you can get your Hello Kitty lunch box ready because Palomar Pictures has picked up the rights to the young adult vampire novel with plans to bring it to the big screen. In all fairness the book sounds a lot darker than the "Twilight" stuff but I'm still going to mock you. I really don't have anything else.

Do you like Frankenstein? Do you like found footage? Do you look vintage German pornography? Then you're going to love "The Reawakening" a new found footage Frankenstein retelling short that will be a part of the upcoming anthology film "V/H/S". Alright the whole German porn thing isn't really a part of this but it really drives site traffic so let's just let that slide.

Excited about the new Judge Dredd flick simply titled "Dredd"? No? What if I was to tell you that the film which is currently set for a late summer release has earned itself a PG-13 rating? Still no!? What if I told you Rob Schneider is in no way attached to the film. Alright now I got you a little bit right?

In Real People News: 

I've had some serious road rage in my day but never to the point where I shot off a flare gun in my own car. But then again I'm not from New Hampshire. Not that only people from New Hampshire do that sort of thing. Or maybe they do. That godless land is a mystery to me.

You have to applaud this Philadelphia man for his non-stop dedication in catching a local vandal who has slashed more than 55 tires in his neighborhood. You have to applaud him because he organized neighborhood watches, spoke to local papers and pretty much lead the charge to bring down the criminal when in fact he was the one slashing the tires. He also at one point tricked his neighbors into donating enough money to pay for his entire wedding. He's kind of a genius.

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