Horror Headlines: Wednesday April 1st, 2009

Just a warning... being April Fool's day today, you may see some erroneous horror news floating around the web. We'll do our best not to participate in the douchery, but as you probably know sometimes it's hard to discern the real from the fake. Ironically, this is the one day a year when you actually CAN believe something Robert Englund says in an interview, so keep your ears open for "Freddy Vs Jason Vs Chucky" news.

Ron Perlman says that if all goes well he'll be starring in Don Coscarelli's "Bubba Nosferatu" this fall. Perlman, of "Hellboy" fame, is replacing Bruce Campbell as "Elvis" from the first film. I love Perlman, but I'm not sure he's capable of filling either of those roles. We'll have to wait and see.

There's a new poster for this movie "Eve" that came out yesterday, but that's not the interesting news. People are (rightfully) remarking on the similarities between this and the comic book adaptation "Hack & Slash"... and by "similarities" I mean, it's the same exact plot. There's enough room in my heart for two sexy slasher hunters, but I'm not sure the rights holders to "Hack & Slash" are going to agree. We'll keep you updated on any legal shenanigans that may arise from this.

Thomas Dekker of "The Sarah Connor Chronicles" talks about a few upcoming horror projects he's starring in. This should really please all of the Google searchers who seem to end up on our site while searching for people who also hate this guy.

Will Arnett and Michael Shannon have joined the cast of the "Jonah Hex" adaptation. After finally making my way through "Arrested Development" on DVD, hearing Arnett's name in conjunction with any project pretty much turns me into a giddy school girl.

Say what you want about the Weinstein's, they're definitely shrewd business men. They're continuing that trend by buying all the French horror they can while at the Cannes film festival. The way things have gone lately with the horror coming from our froggy friends, I can't say I blame them.

In Real People News: 

Hit someone with your car and accidentally kill them? It's all good, just leave a really nice apology note before you flee the scene. Your mother will be so proud.

There is so much panic in Egypt over an alleged text message that supposedly will kill you shortly after receiving it, that the health minister had to make a statement assuring people everything's ok. So let me get this straight, the Egyptians are now remaking shitty J-horror films, only in real life? Sarah Michelle Gellar's going to be all over this.

Wow, it looks like scientists in Britain are really close to using a giant "sun laser" to create clean nuclear fusion. After that, I say we take this thing and go destroy Tatooine. I never liked the cut of their jib anyways.

Live in India? It's your lucky day, doctors are now offering a deal where you can get your gun license fast tracked if you also get a vasectomy. Insert your own "shooting blanks" joke here.

On this day in history: 

1996: Wilson Pickett arrested for possession of cocaine, after a screaming, bloodied woman is seen running from his house. Not sure what you'd say to your neighbors after that to stop them from calling the cops, but I think I'd go with the old gem, "Move along folks, nothing to see here."

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