Unearthed & Untold: The Path to Pet Sematary

Horror Headlines: Friday November 2nd, 2012

Just because I've defected to the Midwest doesn't mean I'm any less heartbroken to see my beloved New Jersey and New York in it's current state. If you can please hop over to The American Red Cross and give what you can. If you do I promise not to ever post anything serious here again.

The good folks behind the new "Hitchcock" flick, about the relationship between the legendary director and his wife during the making of "Psycho", have launched a new site where you can insert yourself into the film's poster. The film doesn't hit theaters for another few weeks so hurry up and you might be able to convince your dumb cousin that you're actually in the movie.

"Castle Wolfenstein", the classic video game that spawned numerous sequels and was a leading cause in me not seeing sunlight as a child, is finally making it's way to the big screen. Roger Avary is already locked in to write and direct the film about a US army captain and a British special agent who battle the SS paranormal division in a plot to take down Hitler. Sounds like every kid's dream.

A new documentary about the making of 1989's classic horror film "Pet Sematary" is in the works. Currently titled "Unearthed & Untold: The Path to Pet Sematary" the doc will feature cast and crew interviews, visits to filming locations and a look at the film's reception. I swear to god I still have nightmares about Zelda. Did you even notice she kind of looks like Bethenny Frankel? I'm sorry that's awful.

If I were to give you 100 guesses as to the plot of the new film titled "Cold Patrol" I don't think you would come anywhere close. That's because it's about a team of military dog sledders who end up battling zombie polar bears. You read that right. Oh sure now you're saying you would have guessed that somewhere around 47 or so but that's bull crap. You've always been a filthy liar. Look for this one on DVD sometime in Spring of 2013.

In Real People News: 

Here's a video of what looks like a UFO flying into a volcano. Good news! We don't need to worry about the alien invasion because they're all idiots.

That classic Johnny Cash line "I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die" isn't nearly as bad as when Cash is replaced with a 12 year old boy and the "man" is replaced with a dog. Oh and the kid didn't shoot his dog he hung it. Nothing bad ass about that at all.

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