Jessabelle

Horror Headlines: Monday, April 16th, 2011

"Justified" is my favorite show in the world that I've only seen 3 episodes of. I don't remember if Joelle Carter was in the episodes I've seen but she looks kind of familiar so let's all get excited that she's been added to the cast of the upcoming Lionsgate film "Jessabelle". Carter will play the mother of a girl who's forced to return to her father's home after she loses the use of her legs. I hope she knows the "I Have No Legs" song.

Marc D. Evans has gone on record that the plan is for "The Strangers 2" to begin production this fall and that a director will be chosen shortly. I don't believe him. Let's move on.

Have a loved one with an upcoming birthday you want to ruin? Well good news! "A Serbian Film" will finally see a limited unedited US release on May 22nd. The news comes after months of legal issues and forced edits to get the film ready for US shelves. Why this giant mess is being allowed I have no idea but I assume the discussion went something like, "fine if you pricks want to cry yourselves to sleep for a week then be my guest!"

Edward Norton, Gael Garcia Bernal and Rebecca Hall, and Sean Penn are all apparently in talks to take on roles in the upcoming "Robocop" remake. I mean they're all looking to play different roles. Although that would be kind of awesome if they all played Robocop. Like some sort of giant weird Hollywood Voltron. I'd like Ed Norton to be the head, please. I just like the cut of that guy's jib.

In Real People News: 

Now that we've all agreed that global warming is kind of awesome the "ass dial" has become the biggest problem facing the world today. Case in point, this Washington man who stole a car and accidentally dialed 911 from the phone that was in his pocket.

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