chained

Horror Headlines: Friday, May 4th, 2011

May the Fourth be with you everybody!

The good folks at Universal have taken it upon themselves to push there new exorcism film "The Seventh Son" back a good 8 months to October 18, 2013. The film stars Jeff Bridges and Julianne Moore so you have to imagine it's not too shabby but as of yet there's no word as to why the delay is happening. Let's start an insane rumor though, like Jeff Bridges demands the blood of virgins to do any work and they're running out of them in Hollywood.

Jennifer Lynch, the creepy gal behind "Boxing Helena" and other flicks has had her new film "Chained" slapped with a NC-17 rating. The film follows a 9 year old boy who is kidnapped and as he grows learns he must follow in his kidnappers footsteps to survive. Kind of like "The Lion King" but with people getting their faces bashed in.

Amber Heard has been confirmed for the cast of "Machete Kills" and I used up my stupid comments on her earlier this week so she gets a pass today. What can I say, I'm a giver.

Warner Bros. has dropped the news that they will in fact be resurrecting "Little shop Of Horrors" once again and Joseph Gordon-Levitt is very much interested in taking on the lead role. My guess is there won't be any singing in this version but who knows. I love that damn dentist song Steve Martin does.

In Real People News: 

A Humane Society employee in Florida (yeah no shit) is under arrest after he was found in possession of child pornography and a video of him getting it on with a dog. Isn't that some sort of physiological test? Picking which one you think is worse determines what kind of job you'll have later in life or something? I could have sworn I remember my guidance counselor asking me that in High School.

A 30 year old mother in Iowa is under arrest after she shot up heroin in the bathroom of a pharmacy while her 4 year old child was present. The import thing to note here is that in Iowa there are bathrooms in pharmacies that just anyone can use. I'd shoot up heroin too if I didn't have to give a stool sample just to take a piss in a Duane Reade in the city.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday October 25th, 2011

I've never hidden my affection for Rose McGowan and I won't for you or anyone else. Now that we have that out of the way here's some new shots of her in the new film adaption of Edgar Allan Poe's "The Tell-Tale Heart". Of course there isn't much a romance in the original story so the makers went ahead and put in a romance so McGowen can strut her stuff. I approve of this.

Vincent D'Onofrio will always be Private Pile to me. In turn he will also always be creepy to me. So here's the first poster for his new film titled "Chained". Jennifer Lynch is directing the flick and D'Onofrio plays a serial killer who kidnaps a 9 year old boys and shows him the ropes. Sounds heartwarming I know. Like "The Karate Kid" with more murdering.

Do you believe in ghosts? Do you believe in a world where Daniel Radcliffe is our supreme ruler? These are both questions asked by the new poster for the olden times thriller "The Woman In Black". Alright that second one is more implied and not actually written out but I think we should put some thought into it anyway.

And because you need to be reminded that there's good in the world every once in a while here's a look at Chuck Norris on the set of "The Expendables 2". If that doesn't make you happy I suggest you Google "kittens frolicking" and take a half hour exploring the results.

In Real People News: 

A truck carrying a large load of bees overturned on a Utah highway that ended up having to BEE shut down. Haha see what I did there? Don't mess with bees!

Did you look up the kittens? Well here's a story about a hawk that was found living with a nail in it's head. And yes, there's a photo.

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