Bruno Zacarias

Horror Headlines: Wednesday, April 25th, 2011

This weather is killing me. One week we're complaining about the heat and the next we're bitching about the cold. Next week I bet we'll be all up in arms about how comfortable the temperature is. I'm so lost.

The folks over at Warner Bros, or The WB as we call it in da hood, have wrapped their well manicured hands around a new futuristic action flick currently titled "Law Zero". Bruno Zacarias and Miguel de Olaso are the masterminds behind the concept and are ready to roll on production.I have no idea who those two guys are but they sound Al sol que más caliente. I have no idea what that means either. I just found it on Google.

If I had to rank the Wilson brothers in order I would for sure put Owen in the top 5. And apparently the Dowdle brothers, who brought us "Quarantine", feel the same way because he's rumored to be taking the lead in their next film which is titled "The Coup". The movie is about a American family who find themselves caught in the middle of a coup trying to escape with only their wit and the talents of their adorable talking dog, Marmaduke. I might have that last part wrong.

The big screen adaptation of Alan Robert's graphic novel "Crawl To Me" has found itself a pair of writers in the form of David White and T.J. Cimfel. The book tells the tale of a family living in an isolated country during a harsh winter that makes them question their relationship and their existence. Some of you might know Alan Robert as the bassist of the band Life Of Agony. I mention that only because their lead singer decided he wanted to be a woman and now looks hideous and I think that's hysterical.

Ray Stevenson has signed on for the next season of "Dexter", playing the leader of a Russian organized crime syndicate. Stevenson previously graced the tiny screen with his role of Titus Pullo on "Rome" and i freakin loved that show. I didn't understand 75% of it but I loved it none the less.

In Real People News: 

In case you were wondering, you can be kicked out of a Legoland store for having a tattoo of a naked Tinkerbell turning on a light switch with her lady bits visible on your leg. Just something to keep in mind.

No jokes here folks. A man was killed yesterday at the Redhook Ale Brewery in New Hampshire after a keg exploded. I know what you're expecting here. Asshole Joe to make some joke about how it's a tragedy that all that beer was lost. But I'm not going to. He was cleaning the kegs when it exploded, there wasn't any beer in it. See, I'm not a monster.

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