The Last Exorcism II (Movie Review)
Throw out your Ambien. The Last Exorcism II is the best thing you could do for your sleepless nights. However, if you think you’re going to use this tiresome dreck to cure your insomnia without some serious side effects, you are completely mistaken. Best case scenario, you’re going to feel tired with some possible loss of memory. You may also potentially slip into a coma to awaken days later in a pool of your own sweat and misery, but that’s only if you mix alcohol with your viewing which this doctor recommends heavy doses of if you’re going to spend any time around this film.
The Last Exorcism II takes everything from the first excellent found footage film from 2010 and throws it completely out the window except for Nell Sweetzer (Ashley Bell) who did a very admirable job in the first film. Unfortunately she is given very little do here except breathe heavy, seemingly fake masturbate, and make ugly faces while contorting. This is seemingly the plot of this movie, as she hangs around a transition house in New Orleans trying to escape her cult pasts while vaguely spooky things happen.
When I use the phrase “things happen” in reference to this film, what I really mean is that nothing happens. This is a film that attempts to pull off a jump scare with a living statue. Now if you think that phrase means that this film is bad but silly, you are wrong, so very very wrong. Perhaps the worst thing about this movie of the countless terrible things the viewer is forced to experience is that it is completely devoid of any fun. This is a soulless, empty, black hole of a film that sucks in every ounce of joy the viewer could possibly experience.
What’s truly strange thing about this movie is that while most sequels repeat too much, this movie is the inverse of its predecessor. Instead of being an interesting, found footage film with an ending that undercuts a little of what happened previously, this is a film that is stunningly dumb, boring, and pointless while finishing with an end that might have been interesting if the viewer hadn’t been robbed of all ability to feel in the previous hour and twenty minutes. The Last Exorcism II is a movie that should be avoided at all costs.
Jayson
Staff Writer
At the age of 9, Jayson saw a child's head get crushed under a tire in the Toxic Avenger and has never been the same. He spent nearly his entire childhood riding his bike to the local video store to secretly renting every scary movie with his friends and reading his way through the Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark books and all the works of Stephen King. A writer, drinker, and lover of Boston sports he spends most of his time living out his dreams and wishing fall would never end in Connecticut.