the hole 3d

Horror Headlines: Monday August 10th, 2009

Time for the worst thing you've ever seen to kick off your Monday... Selma Hayek as a bearded lady in "The Vampire's Assisant". The film was formerly known as "Cirque Du Freak", and stars John C. Reilly as a vampire who... has an assistant.

Rider Strong joins the cast of the indie film "Darkening Sky", about a man having alien abduction nightmares only to discover it's more than a dream.

First poster for Joe Dante's "The Hole 3D". The film follows two young brothers who discover a hole in their basement, and the hijinks that follow when they decide to venture into it.

Here's the full synopsis for Robert Rodriguez's "Machete"... and let's just say that once you match up the actor's names it's... special.

In Real People News: 

Take note ladies, setting a man's genitals on fire is definitely an effective way to get him to stop harassinng you. Those guys don't always take a hint.

600 lb prisoner sneaks gun into jail in one of his fat rolls. I don't think I can blame the guy who searched him... would YOU go digging around in there?

Former French President Chirac claims George W. Bush quoted the prophecy of Gog and Magog to him to try and appeal to their "mutual faiths" in order to gain his cooperation in the Iraq war. So it's official, our president quoted "C.H.U.D." as a matter of foreign policy. (flip to about 7:02 and sit back and enjoy).

On this day in history: 

1969: Leno and Rosemary LaBianca are brutally murdered in their Los Feliz, California home by followers of Charles Manson. They take some of their victims' blood and smear HEALTER SKELTER on the refrigerator door.

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