Morgan Freeman

Horror Headlines: Monday April 15th, 2013

I'm not saying I did or didn't watch the MTV Movie Awards last night but if I did I'd really like someone to explain to me what the hell a Macklemore is and why that big guy who sings with them wears such tight shirts? I had a lot of trouble accepting I was an XL too but I'm pretty sure this guy is still trying to squeeze into a size small.

Morgan Freeman will not play god or the president in the upcoming sci-fi flick "Transcendence". The film tells the story of a scientist who's brain is uploaded into a computer after he is killed by terrorists. Truth be told it hasn't been revealed what role Freedman will play so there is still a solid chance he could play the president, god or some sort of god/president hybrid here. I just like to think outside the box now and then.

Sunn Classic Pictures has gone ahead and dropped word that they intend to move forward with a remake of the 1983 classic killer dog flick "Cujo". Based on a Stephen King story, Sunn Classic is the same group that released the original and decided to hold on to the rights to the picture in the hopes that in 20 years we'd be remaking every horror film ever made. Well planned fellas.

If you loved last year's surprise gushable fan boy favorite "Dredd 3D" then you're in luck because a sequel is currently in the works and will drop this September. Of course the sequel will be in comic book form and instead of being able to watch cool stuff fly around the screen you'll have to read words and look at tiny stupid drawn pictures but still. Ya know what no I can't even joke about this. This is just awful and only exciting to virgins.

"Stripped", a new horror flick set in Vegas has been confirmed to be hitting DVD this coming May 14th. The flick follows a group of friends who find themselves in the company of strippers who also happen to take the vital organs of their clients. I'll be honest this movie doesn't sounds very good and I'll most likely never see it but I will read just about any article that mentions strippers.

In Real People News: 

If you're going to make a big purchase you want to try out the goods before you put down your hard earned money. Weather it's a new car or a large band saw. Of course if you're this guy in Los Angeles and you're going to test out a saw by trying to chop off your arms you might want to ask for a private room or something. People don't want to see that crap when they're looking for a new ceiling fan.

I've learned a few things about sports here in Chicago since moving to the area and probably the best fact is that the Cubs suck and everyone here blames it on a goat. So why wouldn't a fan send a severed goat's head directly to Wrigley field in the hopes that it would break the curse. Or cause it to continue on maybe? I don't know what the thought process was really I just hope Norwegian black metal was involved.

Horror Headlines: Friday, February 10th, 2012

To this day my best friend insists I had a crush on Ricky Schroeder when I was little. Apparently I would watch "Silver Spoons' and talk about how someday I want to live with Ricky and grow old together or something. I think it's bullcrap but that house on the show was pretty awesome so I've always kind of had my doubts.

Remember Haley Joel Osment? The little bugger who sees dead people and has a heart of gold? Well the all grown up rugrat is back in a new film titled "I'll Follow You Down" which tells the story of a son trying to uncover the mystery of where his scientist father disappeared to after a business trip. I assume Osment will still play a young boy because, much like Leonardo DiCaprio, no matter how old he gets he still looks 11. Ya just want to pinch his cheeks don't you?

Why the hell not, huh? Dreamworks has apparently hired Steven Knight to pen a script for their upcoming remake of the Alfred Hitchcock film "Rebecca". The original 1940 film tells the story of a bride who finds her and her new husband are being haunted by the ghost of his first wife. No word yet on is the remake will stay true to the original but if I was a betting man I'd say someone named Rebecca will be in the film.

If you're like any normal American then you're probably a giant fan of "The Adventures of Ford Fairlane". Look it up kids, that pizon was bigger than Jesus. Renny Harlin, the film's director, is off to Russia now for a new film that tell the tale of the real life mystery around 9 experienced hikers that were found dead in the mountains in 1959 and the not so real life crew that's exploring the mountains to uncover the secret of their deaths. The guy directed "Die Hard 2" also. Get excited.

It's a fact, Morgan Freeman is the greatest person who has ever lived. So Tom Cruise should be be skipping around in his tiny little size 6 shoes now that the great one has agreed to join the cast of "Oblivion", a new Sci-Fi flick that stars Tommy as a soldier banished to a far away deserted planet after his court-martial. No word on what role Freeman will be playing but I expect it'll be Jesus or whatever weird alien god they worship in the film.

In Real People News: 

Purple Squirrel Found in Pennsylvania. I'll see you all in hell.

Now let me make it clear, I like rhinoceros'. They're so freakin giant and cool they could kill any of us. But when a anti-poaching demonstration in South Africa goes wrong and they accidentally kill one, you've got to chuckle a little.

Episode 35 - "The Dark Knight"

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We try to control our collective nerdgasms over "The Dark Knight", and frankly we didn't do so well.

Purchase this Back Episode $0.99

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