heartless

Horror Headlines: Thursday February 4th, 2010

In my humble opinion, there's nothing funnier than watching Nicholas Cage chew scenery in a fantasy picture, which may explain why I'm happy that the viral website for "Season of the Witch" is finally online. I'll gladly watch you swing swords, Mr. Cage, but I'm still waiting for an apology for "Ghost Rider".

If you're one of the lucky individuals heading to Austin, Texas for the South by Southwest Film Conference and Festival this March, you might want to check out the horror titles currently scheduled to play this year. "Tucker and Dale vs. Evil" will be there, and I'm insanely jealous.

Hey! Do you remember last week when I filled your delicious mind with information regarding a little film called "After.Life"? Well, in case you were wondering, Anchor Bay has scheduled the film for release this Spring. I'm excited, so I know you're excited. Besides, it's hard not to like a film that features both Liam Neeson and Christina Ricci. Isn't it?

Somebody told me yesterday that I should watch the new trailer for Philip Ridley's demonic horror picture "Heartless", and I must say I wasn't disappointed. Plus, it's got demons, as well as a guy who can see demons. Amazing! What will they think of next?

In Real People News: 

Guess what? If you strap your cheating husband to a chair and savagely glue his penis to his stomach, chances are you won't go to jail. What's more, you'll have a cool story to tell at family reunions and office Christmas parties. That's always a plus.

Would you like another reason to stop smoking? All right, how about exploding cigarettes with the ability to destroy up to six of your precious teeth.I'm not entirely sure, but I think this sort of thing can only happen in Indonesia.

According to Britain's MI5 intelligence service, it would appear that certain terrorist organizations are employing the use of explosive breast implants. That girl's rack is the bomb, indeed.

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