Apocalypse Mixtape Part VI: Blood Wings

Reader Farkwit McFakename writes:

Dear John,
I've been reading the Apocalypse Mixtape blogs for a while now. I love how you list the obligatory "songs about a serial killer" that every band writes when they can't come up with any better song ideas and then tie in other songs that don't really have anything to do with horror movies except they have spooky words like "funeral" or "devil" in the title or they have a couple of minor chords in them and a sample from a Vincent Price movie. Great stuff. Anyway, I was writing because I want to know when you're going to put some newer stuff on the mixtape. I mean, the Adam Partridge Project? Blue Oyster Club? What are you, like 80? We kids today like modern music that sounds like it was written in the 80s. We like bands with exclamation points in their names and anime-influenced hairstyles. Come on old man, get off your rocking chair and give us some music that came out after Woodstock ('99).

Thanks Farkwit. After your letter I checked out the Hannah Montana and the American Idol to see what you kids today are into. This is what I came up with.

Black Lips - Bad Kids

Cindi Lauper taught us many things, but perhaps her most important lesson was that girls just wanna have fun. In a similar vein, Black Lips wrote this fun little singalong to tell us that bad kids just wanna fuck shit up. Aww, aren't they cute out there selling their Grandmother's Oxycodone to each other and doing hoodrat shit with their friends in order to please He-Who-Walks-Behind-The-Rows? Adorable.

The Gutter Twins - Idle Hands

The Gutter Twins is a team up between former Screaming Trees frontman Mark Lanegan and Afghan Whigs/Twilight Singers crooner Greg Dulli. On this track, recorded live for Jools Holland's show on the BBC, Lanegan laments that he can't stop his idle hands from turning into the devil's playthings. By that I assume he means that even though he really doesn't want to, his hands keep pouring whiskey down his throat and strangling hookers. I think we can all relate to that.

Les Savy Fav - Patty Lee

Man, I love this song. In fact, I love it so much I'm physically incapable of listening to it only once. Every time it finishes I have to hit repeat and hear it one more time. In that spirit, and also because I couldn't decide between the two, I've posted both the video for the song and a live performance from Conan O'Brien. The official video is pretty much just a cute, hipster-ish chick dancing to the song in that awkward but adorable way cute, hipster-ish chicks have of dancing. The live appearance is a true thing of beauty with frontman Tim Harrington starting off in some kind of red spandex bodysuit complete with cape and mask and then one-by-one ripping off what seems to be about a 100 t-shirts he's wearing underneath. Oh, and the song itself? As far as I can tell it seems to be about a guy who indulges in some light bondage with a girl who later rips off her face V-style and reveals herself to be an ancient god of the Cthulhu sort.

Well, there you go Farkwit. I'm sorry I couldn't find the Fergie version of "Tonight I Feast on your Entrails" or Coldplay's "Stabbin' Party", but I hope these songs will suffice. And remember, kids, keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the boomstick.