Netflix Streaming Friday - "Shark Attack 3: Megalodon"

From the looks of things, Netflix has had a pretty rough week. Despite not caring much myself, apparently the entire world is now mad at Netflix for separating their streaming and DVD-by-mail programs into two separate programs. Despite the maximum rate change being only six dollars, which is less than a burrito the last time I checked, you would think that they personally pissed on every last one of their customers' faces from the reaction online. You know, R. Kelly style.

So naturally they go into PR mode and try to explain everything. Apologetic blog posts get met with Facebook groups filled with so much vitriol and hate you'd think they were Tea Party groups, well-reasoned and thought out explanations get met with crazy responses from people on unemployment (maybe you should be more focused on finding a job than streaming Dr. Who all day, dude) and people un-phazed by the change get drowned out by super-entitled suburbanites with internet connections and nothing better to do than spend hours complaining about a per month rate increase worth less than one hour's worth of minimum-wage labor.

So how does Netflix finally make things right with their customers? By streaming "Shark Attack 3: Megalodon". Before you go writing this off as just another awful shark attack film, you have to understand something. This is the absolute worst shark attack film ever made. Ever see "Sharks in Venice" with Billy Baldwin? This is way, way worse.

Yet it's totally awesome at the same time. Lacking any real budget whatsoever, every shark attack in "Shark Attack 3" is cobbled together from nature documentary footage, breed of shark naturally not remaining consistent, fleshed out with some of the worst green screen around. The Mexican resort is filled with what seems to be Bulgarian extras. The acting is old-school Sega CD FMV quality. And whoever edited the script obviously didn't read it very closely as there's a line of dialogue in here that literally made me do a spit-take when I first watched this film. All in all, this is an absolute must-watch for fans of awful horror films and a great apology from Netflix for their "egregious" act of raising their rates by less money than it takes to buy a small popcorn at your local text messaging teenager filled cinema.

Well played Netflix, well played.

Angelo

Contributor