Ebayer Selling Clown Fear, Dry Humping
I really wish we had found this before the listing was closed, but Mark sent it to me last night and I couldn't think of anyone who would enjoy it more than you sick bastards.
The name of the listing on Ebay was "EXPERIENCE YOUR FEAR OF CLOWNS !!!!!!!@"
Confounding punctuation aside, I figured this was too good to be true so I kept reading. I was already thinking of calling the police after looking at that picture to the left... then I read on and decided the person who won is probably already dead anyway so, no big whoop. Here's the actual listing:
This is something you will only want to experience once. LIVE your SCARIEST MOVIE SCENES! Included in this auction, is my travel expenses to wherever you live to give you 3 days of creepy, clowny excitement! BID NOW AND EXPERIENCE this once in a lifetime Thrill.... Are you Brave Enough? *This is meant for entertainment purposes only, no harm will come to you from this, just scariest thrill of a lifetime! Live a haunted house come to life for 3 entire days.
Somebody must have been thinking about this shit for a long time because the item went for 355$ Either that, or some serial killer bought it who was sick of having to go outside to find his victims. Either way, this confrontation should be interesting, let's hope they document it.
Oh and just because they're awesome (and make the whole thing even creepier) ... here are the questions that potential buyers asked:
A: Sure!
Q: The only clowns that scare me are drunk clowns. Would you be willing to get hammered and follow me around? Feb-12-09
A: Only if you buy!
Q: Do you have to scare me or can I have you follow my unsuspecting friend? Feb-12-09
A: I can, but they would need to sign a waiver!
Q: Could you be a not-scary clown? I need a clown for a fundraiser in June (just one afternoon). But it's for kids and I don't want them scared....more Feb-12-09
A: I can probably do that, but not as part of this auction!
Q: Great auction! You made the front page of
A: Wonderful!
I promise to be on the look out for this stuff next time, so you guys can get your bids in. After all, Christmas is only 10 months away!
Eric N
Co-Founder / Editor-in-Chief / Podcast Host
Eric is the mad scientist behind the BGH podcast. He enjoys retro games, tiny dogs, eating fiber and anything whimsical.