"Saw" Ride Not Safe For Breast Implants

So as Eric reported last week the Saw ride at UK’s Thorpe Park was scheduled to open this Saturday. I use the word “was” because yesterday during some testing the ride was shut down. What was the cause for the temporary closing? "Minor teething problems". That’s not even a joke.

It gets better. Apparently the ride was so far along that the testing was being done with some of today’s hottest UK celebrities. Edith Bowman, Dermot O'Leary, and singer Katie Melua were all on hand to ride the beast before the general public this Saturday. Who the in the hell those people are, I have no idea but I bet over in the UK this is big news.

Probably my favorite celeb to at least get on the loading platform is Chantelle Houghton. Why is she my favorite you might ask? She flat out refused to get on the ride due to the fear that her breast implants might explode. Celebrities, they’re just like us!

A few lucky riders were able to make a couple of trips before it was shut down. One rider raved that he "thoroughly enjoyed" the experience. Those Brits sure do know how to talk up their feelings. One unnamed rider actually experienced a pretty severe panic attack just as the car left the gate. Everything went down hill from there.

Right now the "Saw" ride is still scheduled to open this Saturday but as of today it remains under construction. According to the park, minor shut downs like this can happen with a new ride and it’s nothing to worry about. But should all hell break loose on Saturday you don't have to worry. “Experienced medical personnel” will be on hand to clean up the mass once people start flying from the cars. Happy riding!