Horror Headlines: Monday, November 28, 2011
After spending the last four days locked in battle across the wastelands of strip-malls and hypermarkets, bellies filled with meat and bloodlust, it’s with a heavy heart that we all lay down our weapons and return to work this morning. But what’s this? Someone has leaked a trailer for Ridley Scott’s upcoming not-“Alien” prequel **nudge-nudge-wink-wink** “Prometheus”? And it’s blurry, watermarked footage from a movie that won’t come out for another half a year? Why, that makes me so happy that I might reconsider pepper-spraying Judy from accounting so I can get the last chocolate donut.
OMG! Here’s a trailer for this new slasher movie called “Smiley” about a killer who wears a smiley face mask and can be summoned through the internet LOL! And BTW it has Keith David in it FTW! AFK! FDIC! McDLT!
The internet was abuzz with controversy over last week’s episode of “The Walking Dead” in which the morning-after pill was treated as and referred to as an “Abortion Pill”. The ACLU (among others) slammed the show for providing misleading information about the use and effects of the morning-after pill. The makers of “The Walking Dead” countered by reminding the offended parties that it’s just a show and they should really just relax. The American Mortuary Society is said to be currently preparing to decry the show’s unrealistic portrayal of the ambulatory abilities of the deceased.
And in Swedish meatball news, a man’s hand was minced this week at a Swedish meatball plant when he tried to clear the meat grinder with his fingers. When reached for a statement, a plant official replied “Beency, bouncy, bork bork bork.”
John Shelton
Editor-In-Chief/Homeless Professor
Born and raised in the back of a video store, Shelton went beyond the hills and crossed the seven seas as BGH's foreign correspondent before settling into a tenure hosting Sophisticult Cinema. He enjoys the finer things in life, including but not limited to breakfast tacos, vintage paperbacks and retired racing greyhounds.