vampires

As much as I try not to, I tend to judge screeners on appearance when they get sent to my apartment. I know, I know, that’s not good, but when you see as many movies as I do, you tend to notice patterns. Usually, the better, more professional quality films will get sent in actual DVD cases, have menus and press releases explaining what the film is about. Labors of love shot on weekends in backyards tend to come in jewel cases, but the film-makers will usually include a write up (usually hand-signed) about the film. But then there’s that third subset of screeners.

This President's Day, we celebrate our forefathers and their great achievements in American History. One of those great men deserving of our remembrance is none other than Abraham Lincoln; a man who was many things: A lawyer. A leader. An Emancipator. A Vampire Hunter.

Hold on - what?

Vampire horror-comedy musical. Sight unseen, that description is enough to make me want to punch any movie in the face. It sounds like a $10,000 Pyramid clue with the answer “Things that make a terrible horror movie”. Now throw in a series of cameos from respectable musicians who really should know better. But wait, it gets worse. Give that train wreck of questionable filmmaking decisions the provocative title of “Suck”, which lofts an incredibly tempting softball at lazy, pun-prone film reviewers. Then, what the hell, make it Canadian.

I'm like a little school girl for the movie "Priest" and the new trailer has got me all in a tizzy. I'm flustered, light headed and I think I may of started menstruating. Wait there's vampires in it? Oh man I'm going home pregnant!

The problem with being awful with names is that every time you read a headline about some guy's next film you get kind of excited. So when I read that David Ellis' next flick is going to be "The Briar Lake Murders" I got interested. Then I found out David Ellis is the guy who directed "Snakes on a Plane" and I realized this news is useless. So don't bother reading it.

Here's the new trailer for Hammer Film's "The Resident". What did I learn? Well Christopher Lee is still alive so that's nice. What was confirmed? Hilary Swank is in fact a man, which is not very nice. It's not very nice at all is it.

Just days after Joe Johnston admitted that "The Wolfman" kind of sucked there is now talk that the film could be up for an Oscar. Now before you go renting a tux I should point out that it's for best makeup which to be fair "The Time Machine" remake was nominated four years ago and only one person in the world liked that. If you promise not to keep it I'll let you borrow the DVD.

Last year, we at Bloody Good Horror polled our reviewers to come up with a list of the best horror films of the last decade.

With films like "Machete" hitting it big this summer, the term 'ensemble cast' has been thrown around quite a bit. An assemblage of a few well-known an often hilariously mismatched actors can sell just about any premise. In the case of "Netherbeast Incorporated," it may be a stretch to say that it features an ensemble cast in the most traditional sense, but without the hodge-podge of established comedic actors and candidates for the "Where are they now?" list, I doubt that many people would bother giving this office comedy with an undead twist a chance.

I love guerrilla filmmaking. It is the only way to bring unfettered ideas to the screen with a high degree of faithfulness to the filmmaker’s original vision. Equally true is that it is the easiest way to make an unintentionally bad movie by having eyes bigger than your wallet. That said, most of the time if someone goes for broke with their vision and refuses to compromise they end up with a rusty little masterpiece as goofy as it is earnest. In the late 80’s/early nineties several now notable no budget horror pics emerged from a fledgling DIY underground.

Yes, Ethan Hawke is a vampire... yes, those are his real teeth.

We debate the finer points of artficial sucking sounds.