stephen king

Horror Headlines: Friday September 17th, 2010

Danny Trejo and Erin Cummings are rumored to star in the biker gang revenge flick "Tarantula". Is it weird that I have a man crush on a 60+ year old ex-con? Yeah I thought so. Oh and don't think I didn't notice the last name Cummings.

There's a new clip out there for the upcoming "I Spit on Your Grave" remake and it's a real hoot. I've yet to figure out why this remake needed to happen but I have to say the cast really got the whole creepy white trash thing down. That's a plus, right? Right?

For the kids in the Los Angeles area you've got a chance to see the Stephen King classic "Maximum Overdrive" on the big screen. This film's got killer trucks, Lisa Simpson and a soda machine that hates guys balls so there's really no reason not to love it.

A new clip from "Dexter" Season 5 has found it's way online and I couldn't be more giddy about it. The news season premiers on September 26th and I've already got my special order of 50 wings in for that night. That really has nothing to do with the show I just really like wings... a lot.

In Real People News: 

A 33 inch tall cow in London has been declared the worlds smallest by the Guinness World Records. 33 inches London? Really? If you guys can't get your cows all jacked up on growth hormones like ours than what CAN you do?

On this day in history: 

1862 - Union forces hurled back a Confederate invasion of Maryland in the Civil War battle of Antietam. With 23,100 killed, wounded or captured, it remains the bloodiest day in U.S. military history.

Horror Headlines: Thursday September 9th, 2010

If you're as excited about the upcoming Fall TV season's I am... and that's not even sarcasm, you'll be giddy to know that Robert Englund will be appearing on the Halloween episode of "Chuck". He'll be playing a guest at Chuck's Halloween party and will be dressed as Freddy Krueger, but here's the twist... it's a slutty Freddy Krueger!

Word around campus is Universal has agreed to produce three films and a TV shows based on Stephen King's seven Dark Tower novels. None other then Ron Howard has signed on to direct the first film and TV series and if I knew how to read I'd be wetting myself with excitement right now.

And lastly today we have the first trailer for "Zombie Roadkill". If you couldn't guess by the title the film is about our furry little splattered roadside friends that come back to life and take revenge on some unsuspecting drivers. Looks like a hoot!

In Real People News: 

The good people over at XBox are doing some apologizing right now after accusing a 26 year old Virgina man of violating their online gaming service's code of conduct. The reason they he was being shut down? He's from Fort Gay Virgina. Even funnier? My hometown of Clown Dick, New Jersey has never raised an eyebrow.

On this day in history: 

1971 - Prisoners seized control of the maximum-security Attica Correctional Facility near Buffalo, N.Y., beginning a four-day siege that claimed 43 lives.

Horror Headlines: Monday May 4th, 2010

With talks of "Scream IV" and the release of the all new "Nightmare on Elm Street", Wes Craven is on a lot of people's minds. The latest rumors say that there is a remake in the works for Craven's "Deadly Friend". Though still in the preliminary stages, the word is that Warner Brothers will be shooting for 3D on the film as well.

Hollywood carries on the status quo as there is even more remake news about. The next horror oldie on deck? George Romero's semi-realistic vampire tale, "Martin". Lending a small bit of legitimacy to the rumor, the film is said to be produced by original Romero backer Richard P. Rubinstein.

Horror author John Skipp plans to step into the directors chair as he announces plans for his first film, a 3D horror comedy entitled "Rose".

Stephen King has another project in the works with his hetero life partner; director Mick Garris, afour hour mini-series event of King's "Bag of Bones".

Adam McKay spills the beans on an upcoming project titled "Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters", produced by McKay and directed by "Dead Snow" helmer Tommy Wirkola. Set 15 years after the pairs escape from the wicked witch, McKay promises that the movie will be a Sam Raimi style shocker with steam punk elements. Most frightening of all; they've already offered roles to many members of the "Twilight" cast.

While not yet attached to any project that we know of, this Rick Baker take on Popeye will blow your mind.

In Real People News: 

A Puerto Rican man heads to court to fend off child pornography charges after authorities found a questionable video in his baggage. Despite a health official swearing that the girl in the video could be no more than 12 years old, Porn Star Lupe Fuentes, also known as "Little Lupe", showed up at the hearing to prove that she was in fact, legal.

A 16 year old boy loses a hand when an explosion tears apart his bedroom. Though there are no details on what caused the incident, your mother reminds you once again that you'll go blind if you keep looking at that stuff.

On this day in history: 

1970 - 28 Ohio National Guardsmen kill four students and wound nine others at Kent State University.

Horror Headlines: Monday March 29th, 2010

We all know now that AMC is working on a "Walking Dead" pilot with director Frank Darabont. What we don't know is who is going to play the show's pivotal lead character Rick Grimes. There has been little speculation up until now, but sources reveal that Johny Lee Miller is currently a front runner for the role.

With MTV canceling the long running and factual portrayal "The Hills", Heidi Montag has set her sights on Hollywood to continue funding her plastic surgery addiction. Next on her slate of plans is writing the world's first 3D beach comedy about a killer shark that she fights off with her 3D DDD sized boobs. I'm not making this up.

The Syfy channel sets its sights high this summer as they plan the release of a new series, "Haven". Based on the Stephen King novella "The Colorado Kid", a tale of a FBI agent visiting Haven, Maine to discover that the entire town is an enclave that serves as refuge for people suffering from supernatural abilities. The show will star Emily Rose, Lucas Bryant and Eric Balfour.

In Real People News: 

Mafia kingpin Salvatore Lo Piccolo went back to court recently and won a pivotal case. Lo Piccolo, despite his murderous mafia ways, is a shy man. The case he won was to be able to poop in prison without being watched by security cams. That there is proof that the Italian justice system works folks.

An Indiana man walks into his local grocery store and begins attacking the hamburger patches with a large hunting knife, then covering the meat with dog food. When finally subdued, Anthony Coffman admits that he committed the act because God told him to save the girls from beef.

On this day in history: 

1979 - A U.S. House of Representatives committee report finds that John F. Kennedy's assassination was the result of a conspiracy.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday March 17th, 2010

The "After Dark" Film festival extends their indie horror reach as they create After Dark Originals, their own film film production arm. Continuing to showcase new talent, the new venture allows them to produce their own movies with new directing and producing talent.

Prepare yourself; Sigourney Weaver is going to bite you. The veteran actress has signed on to play a Queen Vampire in Amy Heckerling's horror comedy, "Vamps"! Weaver will be starring alongside Alicia Silverstone and Kristen Ritter.

Craig Gillespie, director of "Lars and the Real Girl", has been tapped to direct the upcoming "Fright Night" remake proving that there actually is one person out there that still cares about this project!

Liv Ullman will be in "The Ghost Brothers of Darkland County", a musical collaboration between John Mellencamp and Stephen King. Read that again; 'a musical collaboration between John Mellencamp and Stephen King'!

In Real People News: 

Most men have at least thought about using their junk as a weapon at one point in their lives, but not that many can say they've attacked a female police officer with their testicles. Lithuanian "Cops" must be the greatest show ever.

Are you dying to get your hands on a piece of pop culture history? Prepare yourself, because the syringe that delivered the fatal dose to Michael Jackson is about to go up for auction! The bidding is expected to start at $5 Million dollars, plus 1 soul.

On this day in history: 

965 - Pope Leo VIII dies of a stroke during sexual intercourse. Perhaps the best way for a man to die, but not a very appropriate choice for the Bishop of Rome.

Horror Headlines: Friday March 5th, 2010

I got my tickets booked for Horrorhound Weekend, but it wasn't without my fair share of headaches. I was gonna leave on Thursday from Denver and stay at Casey's pad, but that flight done got all filled up. So, instead, I had to book my flight for Wednesday. It looks like I'll be camping in the airport for a day, maybe sleeping in the bathroom like Will Smith in “The Pursuit of Happyness”! Inspirational!

Did you know they were remaking “Pet Sematary”? I didn't. I just learned that, like, two minutes ago. It's apparently going to be rewritten by Matthew Greenberg, writer of the failed King adaptation “1408” and the failed “Halloween” entry “H20”. Who do you think they'll get to “reimagine” the catchy theme song, originally performed by the Ramones? I'm, hoping it's Justin Bieber, so at least I'll have something new to masturbate to. That sexy twink is pure rape-bait!

According to MTV, Wesley Snipes would like to see a “Blade 4”. Sadly, no one else does. (OK, that was mean. The truth of the matter is that I love all three “Blade” flicks and would love to see a fourth. Sometimes the prerequisite cynicism of this gig eats away at me, forcing me to do or say things I don't mean to. Mr. Snipes, please, if the offer arises, make a new “Blade” and I will be first in line, no questions asked. (This promise also applies if you make “Passenger 58” or “Jungle Fever 2: Still Cravin' That White Meat”.))

I know that, because you're an imbecilic horror fan, you probably only listen to bands like Magick Karkass and Devilwhipper, but, if you can expand your musical horizons for two Goddamned minutes, neo-outlaw country singer Shooter Jennings' latest album, “Black Ribbons” is out. Why should this appeal to the oh-so-picky likes of you? Because “Maximum Overdrive” director Stephen King narrates the anti-New World Order-themed album as radio DJ “Will O' the Wisp”, who is about to lose his job as the airwaves is overtaken by 'government-approved and regulated transmissions.' I'm taking a moment to be serious here: this is a damn good album and, quite honestly, better than anything you're listening to right now.

In Real People News: 

You know what would be great? A cure for Autism. You'd think that pediatricians would be all over that, right? Naw... instead they are calling for hot-dogs to be redesigned. HOT-DOGS. TO. BE. REDESIGNED. (Even more baffling: how do you redesign at hot-dog? Make it into a cube? A large ball? And how does this bode for the bun industry?) CURE AUTISM, YOU LAZY, GOOD-FOR-NOTHING ASSHOLES.

Swiss condom producers have created “the Hotshot”, an extra-small condom designed for 12-year-olds. Or 31-year-old horror-news writers named Louis.

A Staten Island woman is suing her doctor for accidentally giving her a second pair of breasts. She claims in the suit that the botched surgery harmed her livelihood as a prostitute on Mars. Personally, she makes me wish I had four hands!

On this day in history: 

In 1046, Naser Khosrow begins the seven-year Middle Eastern journey which he will later describe in his book “Safarnama”. It was later rewritten by Jackie Collins into the novel “Hollywood Wives” and then made into a miniseries starring William Devane and Joan Van Ark. Tawdry!

Horror Headlines: Tuesday December 22nd, 2009

Maryland based Edgar Allen Poe fans have reason to rejoice as the LA based stage play "Nevermore" starring Jeffery Combs as the man himself is heading to Baltimore on January 23rd and 24th. Here's hoping we get more locations out of this little road trip!

"Hatchet" director Adam Green has a new movie in the works and now you can watch the trailer for his latest feature, "Frozen".

Continuing in the faux-documentary craze sweeping theaters lately, film maker Bing Bailey releases a teaser trailer for his upcoming Irish zombie treat, "Portrait of a Zombie".

Marvel comics love their Stephen King adaptations lately, so its no surprise to hear that they will be publishing an adaptation of King's short story "N." from "Just After Sunset". Lucky for us, their adaptations have been pretty stellar so far.

In Real People News: 

British police are on the hunt for a pervert. Video footage shows that the man repeatedly snuck behind a grocery story worker in order to sniff his butt.

Workers called out to install an emergency fence around a town fountain were caught off guard when they discovered the frozen body of their co-worker frozen in the fountain. It seems he tripped and landed in the water the night before the safety fence was installed. Doh, so close.

On this day in history: 

1972 - An earthquake destroys the city of Managua, Nicaragua, leaving 6,000 dead.

Horror headlines: Wednesday November 25th, 2009

In a recent interview, Neve Campbell drops hints that Wes Craven may indeed be back for "Scream 4". While not official, it could be good news for this franchise reboot.

Rueben Fleischer, director of "Zombieland" reveals in a recent interview that 3D is a definite possibility for the planned sequel.

Stephen King lets slip to David Cronenburg that he has ideas percolating for a sequel to his classic "The Shining". With King however, that could still be decades away.

Want a good approximation of the new Freddy Krueger makeup? Then check out this new figure from NECA toys.

"Left 4 Dead 2" not fully filling your zombie killing quotient? 2k Games has released its first official expansion for "Borderlands", "Zombie Island".

In Real People News: 

Bangladesh has passed new laws to regulate the sales of sulfuric and hydrochloric acid, formerly available to anyone off of the street. All of this is to curb a recent rash of guerilla acid attacks used to melt people's faces.

A man suffering from common joint pain rubs himself down with rubbing alcohol mixed with rosemary. After dousing himself, he steps into the street to light a cigarette and sets himself on fire.

A 14 year old Poquoson boy dies horribly by falling into a wood chipper.

On this day in history: 

1867 - A patent is granted to Alfred Nobel for dynamite

Horror Headlines: Wednesday November 11th, 2009

LatinoReview.com has uncovered the script for Oren Peli's follow up to "Paranormal Activity", titled "Area 51". Still basking in the glow of his recent success, the studio has been trying to keep close tabs on the details for this one. So, if you don't mind spoilers... be sure to read on.

It was rumored some months past that J J Abrams would be taking on the adaptation of Stephen King's "Dark Tower" series. As of today, Abrams has officially announced that he is dropping the project.

If James Gunn was the only reason you were holding out for "Scream Queens Season 2", I have bad news for you. Gunn has had to bow out of Season 2 due to scheduling conflicts. On the bright side, that means he's making another movie!

ABC has announced that it will not be renewing "Eastwick", the small screen adaptation of "Witches of Eastwick" after its 13 episode run. Don't worry, I'm sure we'll see Rebecca Romijin-Stamos-O'Connel again soon!

In Real People News: 

The recent discovery of hundreds of human bones, bronze shields, and bracelets in the wilds of the Sahara Desert are believed to be the remains of the Lost Persian Army of Cambyses II. The army of 50,000 men was believed to have been buried by a sandstorm in the year 525 B.C. Not so much weird news, but 'awesome' news for history nerds!

Two teachers have been suspended after letting their students watch a Live Sex show during a cultural exchange trip to Thailand. My only question is, do they even have any other kind of shows in Thailand?

Psychics lead officials to a human skeleton hidden in the walls of a West Virginia mansion. The remains were chopped into bits with saw marks upon the bones. Who the bones belonged to has yet to be discovered.

On this day in history: 

1988 - Seven bodies are discovered under the ground of a Sacramento California boardinghouse owned by Dorothea Puente. The batty landlord had killed nine elderlies and was receiving their social security money.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday November 3nd, 2009

"Let Me In", the remake of "Let The Right One In", has begun shooting in New Mexico.

Robert Englund stars in a web-series for FearNET called "Fear Clinic".

In Real People News: 

Sports Star's wife asks for refund from hooker who "serviced" her husband. Now that's a new one.

Let's play a game of "what's wrong with this headline": 11-year-old Bulgarian girl gives birth on her wedding day.

On this day in history: 

1755: The colony of Massachusetts offers a 20 pound bounty for scalps of Indian boys or girls under the age of 12. Warrior scalps fetch a slightly higher price, 30 pounds.

Around the Web

Syndicate content

What's New?

Joe's going to hate this.

Podcast

... and other words for "boner".

Podcast

Latest Reviews

Search

Around The Web