stephen king

Horror Headlines: Wednesday, August 31st, 2011

Submitted by Joe on Wednesday, Aug 31st 2011

Hot pockets kids! Looks like there's a film in the works based on the Matterhorn rollercoaster ride at Disneyland. Currently titled "The Hill" the film will focus on a group travelers who head to the top of a mountain and encounter a bunch of Yeti's on the way down. Then their lap bars hit them in the nuts and they walk around funny for the rest of the day. I added that part but it would make it really authentic to the ride experience so I'm pretty sure they'll include it.

Because the teat isn't completely dry the good people at Lionsgate will be putting out a special 25th anniversary edition of Sam Raimi's
"Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn". In all fairness it'll be on Blu-Ray and it'll have a boat load of new interviews and commentaries but honestly at this point what more can you say. "Oh hey I never noticed that chair in the corner of the room before. Let's talk about that".

Steven Spielberg and Stephen King are teaming up with Showtime to create a new series based on King's 2009 novel "Under the Dome". The story focuses on a group of vacationers in Maine who begin battling after a strange force field appears over their town. Wasn't that the basis of "The Simpsons Movie"? I hope this one is funny too and makes a lot of doughnut references.

Looks like Amy Adams is being eyed by Warner Bros. to take the lead in the upcoming remake of "The Orphanage". Nothing's been confirmed yet but Adams would play the role of a woman who takes over the orphanage where she was raised only to find that the imaginary friends her son is playing with are out to get her. I don't know who played that part in the original and honestly I don't care. There's no way she was as adorable as Amy Adams. Once again the USA makes things better.

In Real People News:

You never know when love will strike. Sometimes it'll be at a book store, sometimes it'll be at Burger King and other times it'll be in a pool while looking at a sexy inflatable raft. What makes it better is that the Ohio man who is up on charges for having relations with the flotation device was arrested last year for getting it on with an inflatable pumpkin. I wonder if the pumpkin is jealous.

Some people just want to be friends. But apparently it's illegal to send a friend request to a guy who's on trial while you're sitting on the jury. Apparently you can't talk about the trial on your wall either. I think if it was Myspace this guy would have been ok. Myspace is where the deviants hang out.

Horror Headlines: Friday August 12th, 2011

Submitted by Joe on Friday, Aug 12th 2011

Pop quiz, what's your favorite Ray Kay video? Trick question! The answer is none because he's the mastermind behind videos for Justin Beiber, Willow Smith and Lady Gaga. I fooled you didn't I? Well he's been handed the keys to a new thriller titled "Paranormalcy" which follows a teen who works for a paranormal agency who finds she might be in the middle of a plot to destroy all paranormal entities. Wait would that be a bad thing? Will there be a meat suit? So many questions and so few answers.

Harry Potter director David Yates and scribe Steve Kloves will reunite to create a trilogy based on Stephen King's "The Stand". For those of you not familiar with the book it's really long and took me over a year to read so I'm not going to tell you anything about it. They did make a mini series though back in the 90's and Molly Ringwald was in it. I'm not saying if that's a good or a bad thing though.

I loved "The Munsters" like a mofo and was a big fan of "Pushing Daisies" so the thought of its creator Bryan Fuller rebooting my beloved black and white classic is just like peanut butter and sex. They just go together. The new series is said to be a darker version of the original and will tell the tale of how everyone's favorite family came to live at 1313 Mockingbird Lane. Mother of god I hope they don't F this up.

Details on the DVD and Blu-Ray extras that will be included with "Scream 4" have dropped and along with commentary with Wes Craven, deleted scenes and a gag real the discs will also include alternative endings and openings. This gets me excited because maybe for the next version there will also be a alternative middle and the three combined will actually make this a good movie. See what I did there? Enjoy your weekend folks.

In Real People News:

This guy has come up with the greatest excuse as to why he was riding around a Walmart parking lot with his junk hanging out. Simply put, he confessed that Walmart really gets his juices flowing. To each his own I say. And I call this the greatest excuse because I assume people ride around Walmart parking lots constantly with their junk hanging out.

If you're going to try to wake up your boyfriend by shooting fireworks at him then you kind of deserve to lose three fingers. And yes before you even ask this took place in Florida.

Horror Headlines: Monday July 25th, 2011

Submitted by Joe on Monday, Jul 25th 2011

The website for the Guillermo del Toro co-written frightfest "Don't Be Afraid Of the Dark" has hit the tubes for your time wasting enjoyment. Normally I wouldn't give a crap about a website launch but this one is actually pretty cool. Spooky voices that whisper your name and some hot webcam action make it all kinds of fun. Although it's probably going to be a giant let down after I built it up with promises of "hot webcam action".

All kind of news around "The Walking Dead" seems to be flying out of Comic-Con and probably the most exciting is that season 2 now officially has a premiere date of Sunday, October 16. The second most exciting thing is that a trailer for the upcoming season has been released. Third most exciting is a bunch of stills. Fourth most exciting is that to date I have not been notified that I won't be signed on to the cast for season 3.

AMC has officially announced a four part mini-series based on Stephan King's "Bag of Bones", a story that focuses on a man haunted by the loss of his wife. Pierce Brosnan and Anabeth Gish are both confirmed for the project which begins filming next month. Proof once again that if you wait long enough every book will be turned into moving pictures. The point here is reading is dumb.

The first trailer for the live action role playing kiddnapping succubus flick (seriously) "Knights of Badassdom" has hit the net thanks to all things Comic-Con and it looks hella good, son. Do people still say hella good? Ya know, like that No Doubt song? Is No Doubt still popular? They broke up?! Oh god.

In Real People News:

A 29 year old Connecticut women is under arrest after forcing her 4 year old son and 10 month old daughter to drink beer and ingest cocaine. According to the woman her son "likes Natural Ice beer and Budweiser, but doesn’t like the taste of Dog Bite." I promise you this, my newborn daughter will never drink that crap. She'll only drink good beer.

A 39 year old Louisiana man is facing charges after sexting photos of his erect manhood to 5 female real estate agents whose contact info he got off of signs. This is great to know because I myself am currently doing some apartment hunting and just assumed this kind of thing was a perfectly normal part of doing business.

Retro Poster: Firestarter

Submitted by Erin S on Monday, Jul 11th 2011

Being woken up by the fire department telling me my neighbor's house is on fire is always a great way to start a morning. As my neighbors and I stood in the rain, watching some very sexy fire men run.... oops, sorry - different story. But as we stood around speculating what could have started the fire, I couldn't help but think of this movie.

Retro Clip: "The Shining" (1980)

Submitted by Carly on Wednesday, Jun 22nd 2011

I think it's pretty fair to say that even though Joe is our main go-to beer guy, all of us at Bloody Good Horror are fans of the beverage. I myself just got home from an amazing four hour long Samuel Adam's beer tasting, where we were able to try their most rare/expensive beer, Utopias (among many, MANY others).

Horror Headlines: Tuesday May 31st, 2011

Submitted by Joe on Tuesday, May 31st 2011

The Guillermo del Toro produced and co-written film "Don't Be Afraid of the Dark" has been kicking around for so long I honestly thought I saw and loved it 2 years ago. Of course I spent 3 years in the jungle surviving mostly on peyote and strange mushrooms so I'm not sure which memories are real anymore. But a full trailer has hit the net and honestly it looks even better then I remember it. I think.

Tom Savini has decided to dust off his makeup tools and come out of retirement to work on a couple of Australian independent horror films. "Redd Inc" is a revenge film that focuses on an online stripper who gets kidnapped and "Mary Doe" is about a woman who gets lost in the desert and finds herself smack dab in the middle of a zombie outbreak. Of course now that he's doing FX again we can only hope Savini decides to dust off the golden speedo one more time. The world needs it now more than ever.

If you're excited for this Sunday's premier of "True Blood" Season 4 than I'm sad to report you are officially off my Christmas card list. But while you sob about that loss you can check out the first 3 minutes of the new episode. I didn't watch it but I assume it's full of ridiculous accents and dry humping. The formula apparently works well.

Word around campus is an TV mini-series adaptation of Stephen King's "Bag of Bones" could begin filming as early as July. The book follows a man who returns to his summer home after the loss of his wife to try to break his writer's block. Unfortunately his wife's ghost isn't done with him yet and things don't go according to plan. Women, they'll even nag ya from the grave! Am I right, fellas? Is this thing on?

In Real People News:

Jackpot Sanitation is a company in Las Vegas that specializes in port-o-potties, among other things. That makes that fact that one of their former managers is now possibly facing charges for urinating in another employee's drinks on a number of occasions. I can't imagine the "I couldn't find anyplace else to go" defense is going to fly.

A woman in Washington was recently hiking with her friends and decided to shoot some video of the exciting action. When she got home and reviewed the clips she realized she may have actually gotten video of Bigfoot himself. After viewing the video though I can confirm this whole thing is ridiculous. I've seen Bigfoot on a number of occasions and it's a giant truck not some hunched over freak. Stupid hippies.

Horror Headlines: Monday May 23rd, 2011

Submitted by Joe on Monday, May 23rd 2011

A new poster for John Carpenter's new flick "The Ward" has come out and don't even bother clicking the link because I'm going to explain it so well you won't even need to see it. Remember that scene in "Labyrinth" Jennifer Connelly falls down the hole and all the hands hold her up? Well it's just like that but with Amber Heard in a short skirt. See! No need to look at it now.

You know what "The Ring" was missing? An all female Japanese pop group! I know it's so obvious now that I've said it. Luckily the movie "White" is here to fix that with a gaggle of new photos and a full out trailer. The movie revolves around the pop group Pink Dolls (I think that's a pun) and the strange events that happen to them after they discover a mysterious video. Sounds super spooky and as a bonus, dance numbers!

Confused as to why there's a "Carrie" remake in the works? Well so is Stephen King. In a recent interview with Entertainment Weekly he asked the bold question "why, when the original was so good?". The remake is set to stay truer to King's original book but by his own admission the movie version was actually scarier. He then went on to ask "what's the deal with airplane food?" but by then I assume the interviewer had walked out.

While we all wait for a new "Child's Play" movie to happen the good people at TikGames have decided to bring Chucky to your console in the form of a new video game they hope to have out this fall. The game will apparently be the original story and allow players to control the little killer himself. Will it be awful? Probably. Will I pay money for it? You bet your sweet ass I will.

In Real People News:

Police in Ohio are on the look out for a bank robber sporting a mullet who is apparently responsible for at least two robberies and countless broken hearts. Serious hold up in the front, party in the back. Of course I'm 99% sure that 3 out of 4 men in Ohio have mullets so narrowing this down might not be so easy after all.

Well the rapture came and went without so much as a Billy Crystal public stoning but tossing the words "zombie apocalypse" in a headline about hurricane season drove so much traffic to the CDC's website that it actually crashed. Unless the CDC's website crashing was the rapture. I thought there was suppose to be fire shooting out of the sky but a server reboot can be pretty awful too.

Horror Headlines: Monday May 16th, 2011

Submitted by Joe on Monday, May 16th 2011

I've never hidden that fact that I want to make a sweet sweet baby with the original "The Amityville Horror" and now I'm giddy with delight over the green lighting of "The Amityville Horror: The Lost Tapes". The movie, which is set for a 2012 release, will focus on a journalist trying to uncover the true story behind the house after the events of the first film. Will it be awful? Mostly likely but F you, I want to see some bleeding walls!

Universal has decided to push the start date of Ron Howard's adaptation of Stephen King's "The Dark Tower" after rumors were flying around that they might pass on the 3 movie series all together. Why would they do this? I don't know, I'm not allowed in these meetings. Have you seen my wardrobe? They're not going to let a jackass in dirty jeans and a "Don't Mess With Texas" t-shirt into a big fancy executive meeting.

I'm a cynical asshole, by nature, and because of that it pains me more than anything else in the world to admit the trailer for the "Fright Night" remake actually looks really really good. And I'm not even saying that because Colin Farrell is a dreamy SOB. On a side note. When the hell did we find out this movie was going to be in 3D? I could have sworn two weeks ago we found out the cast. Now it's releasing in August? Where the hell have I been?!

Danielle Harris has become the go to gal for horror movies that aren't going to be released in theaters so here's the trailer for "Shiver", a horror movie she stars in that I'm 99% sure is only going to play in 17 theaters across the country. What the hell do I know though, it's got the guy from "Starship Troopers". Anyway the film focuses on a secretary who fights back after being assaulted by a serial killer. Rae Dawn Chong is in it too... take that however you want.

In Real People News:

Sometimes there's a news story that's so awful it just makes you smile. Then it makes you try to figure out what the hell is wrong with you for smiling. Here's a story about an Illinois man who had a house guest who wouldn't leave. So he tossed gasoline on him and lit him on fire. Are you smiling? Yeah you are you sick prick.

And because I get a kick out of making you feel like you need another shower, here's a story about a guy who is being forced to undergo evaluation after he slapped and rubbed the genitals of his pet Chihuahua in the common area of his apartment complex. Are you still smiling? You belong in hell... sicko.

Horror Headlines: Monday April 4th, 2011

Submitted by Joe on Monday, Apr 4th 2011

Details on the plot of Rob Zombie's upcoming "The Lords of Salem" have finally been revealed and much to my surprise they have nothing to do with Salem Massachusetts. I kid! The plot revolves around a local DJ who unleashes an unholy curse on the town of Salem that a group of witches cast over 300 years ago. I bet this ruins their tourism also.

Stephen King and John Mellencamp have apparently had a musical in the works since 2006 titled "Ghost Brothers of Darkland County" and good news kids, it'll hit Atlanta in just under a year. The play focuses on the rumors around the murder of 3 people in a small town in Mississippi and I know I said it before but I'm not sure you understand, Stephen King and John Mellencamp created this. Let that sink in.

According to a recent post on the official facebook page for "Trick 'r Treat", "Sam will return" which would lead the world to believe that the anthology series will see a sequel in the near future. Either that or they know something about a "Cheers" reunion. Either way I'm excited.

A new TV spot for JJ Abrams' "Super 8" has found it's way online and honestly I still have no idea what the movie is about but I think it's somewhere in between "Maximum Overdrive" and "E.T.". Of course I watched the video with the volume down and really only paid attention for a few seconds. "Bert the Conqueror" was on last night! If you want to know how that was I could give you a detailed run down.

In Real People News:

A Wisconsin man called 911 after a couple strippers that promised to come to his hotel room and give him lap dances never showed. Apparently he dropped about $1000 bucks so honestly I think it's BS that the cops didn't do anything.

Arkansas Governor Mike Beebe has signed a bill that bans High School students from wearing clothing that exposes "underwear, buttocks or the breast of a female." Meaning no more droopy pants kids! And get off my damn lawn!

Horror Headlines: Thursday March 17th, 2011

Submitted by Joe on Thursday, Mar 17th 2011

The ghost-tastic flick "The Apparition" has had its release date pushed from 2011 to an unnamed date in 2012. No reason has been released for the push but seeing how it's directed by Todd Lincoln who's previous credits include visual effects on "From Dusk Till Dawn" and stars a bunch of teenage extras from other movies I'm guessing they want to put it up against "Avatar 2" just to F with the man.

People seem to be getting sick of 3D movies and paranormal flicks but how could you fail with a paranormal 3D joint? The answer is you can't. "Paranormal Xperience 3D" revolves around a group of teens (awesome!) trapped in a town being terrorized by an evil doctor. If the twist at the end of this is that the doctor is a ghost then putting the word "paranormal" in the title might of been a bad idea.

Little known fact, they have TV's in New Zealand. I know I was shocked too! Not only that they apparently have their own shows. Like "The Tribe" which is about group of people who have lived through a virus that's killed off most of Earth's population and how they deal with robots and giant locusts. Sounds pretty good already but it's being adapted for the big screen here in the US so we're going to make it even better. You're welcome Kiwi's!

My wife and I have agreed that no matter what sex our seventh child is we will name him or her Shia LaBeouf. That's just how big of fans we are. So we're both pumped to find out that he will star in a new big screen adaptation of Joe Hill's, son of Stephan King, novel "Horns". The basic plot is LaBeouf wakes up after a night of boozing to find he's sprouted horns. I don't get the title.

In Real People News:

Some people who come into a large sum of money go nuts and just spend it all. But this guy in Ohio wasn't going to let his big bank robbery score go to his head. No he hopped on the bus and headed home, not even springing for a cab. Of course he was immediately caught but still, his heart was in the right place.

Residents of Bennington Vermont are living in fear after a number of residents have been attacked but one lone gray squirrel. One shoveler was attacked tree times but the little bushy tailed rat and a number of other reports have been filed. What do you have to say about this crap, PETA? That's what I though.