rob zombie

There's nothing more fun than nutso clowns battling each other to the death is there? Well "The Last Circus" is here to make all your wildest dreams come true and today there's a red band trailer for the big top blood bath. The film revolves around a love triangle between a sad clown, a trapeze artist and her abusive happy clown husband. Sounds like what Cirque du Soleil would be if it was tolerable.

Get in line now kids because on October 26, 2012 "Halloween 3" will hit the theaters! No director has been picked for the third installment of the much debated Rob Zombie reboot but there's little to no chance Robbie will have anything to do with it. Which is good for haters of the first two but really bad for lovers of slow motion pan shots set to crappy 70's cover songs. Correction: Patrick Lussier will direct "Halloween 3D". You can go back to planning your next D&D gathering in your mom's basement now.

I was pretty down on the "Conan the Barbarian" remake for a long time but since watching Jason Momoa, who will play Conan, on "Game of Thrones" I've become more and more fired up. Now there's a new red band trailer and TV spot for the remake and I think I'm going to run out and get myself a loin cloth and sword. Once I get those I can really focus on getting washboard abs and being cast in the sequel.

"The House at the End of the Street" has been kicking around for a while now and as of today it looks like the film will finally see the light of day on April 20th of next year, yes that's 4/20 you filthy hippies. The movie stars Jennifer Lawrence and Elizabeth Shue as a mother daughter combo (try to guess which is which) that move into a house where a family was mysteriously murdered and begin to uncover the community's spooky secrets. It's Shue who plays the mother, that Lawrence girl is like 20, people. I wish you'd think before you answer sometimes.

The premiere we've all been waiting for is finally here my friends! Yes of course I speak of Rob Zombie's Woolite commercial and much to my surprise it looks like... well if Rob Zombie did a commercial for a laundry detergent. Shocking I know. Look for our podcast on the commercial coming in the next few weeks.

Looks like the good people behind the upcoming flick "Mansion of Blood" don't have nearly as much patience as the folks behind "The Gingerdead Man" films because they just shit canned Gary Busy from the lead role. Apparently Busy had already filmed about half of his scenes but his pain in the assness became too much and he was booted.

I love me some Guillermo Del Toro but I swear to Jesus if you break up "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" there will be hell to pay. Rumor has it that Del Toro is in talks with Sunny's Charlie Day to play a role in his upcoming monsters attack earth flick "Pacific Rim" which is set for a 2013 release. Then again there's a new season of Sunny coming out in between then and if it sucks like the last one did then he can go ahead and do whatever the hell he wants.

99% of horror comedies are neither funny nor scary and guess what folks, the upcoming Halloween romp "Fun Size" will not break the mold. How do I know this? Because Chelsea Handler has just been cast in the movie and she's not funny. If you think she is you're wrong and I'm sorry. Just because she's kind of pretty and swears a lot doesn't make her hilarious. Trust me, I pay $75 a ticket to watch her talk about diddling herself for an hour at Radio City Music Hall and I didn't crack a smile once. You drop $150 bucks and all of the sudden a goofy smile and low cut shirt isn't so funny. Learn from my mistakes!

If you're waiting for one borderline softcore porn 3D horror flick to come out it's probably "Pirahana 3DD". But if you're waiting for two than the second has got to be "Shark Night 3D" which now has a new poster out for your peepers with the clever tag line "Terror Runs Deep". Because as you are all well aware, Shark Nights terror runs deep, so deep, put her ass to sleep.

If you were in Cannes last week, and honestly if you weren't I'm not sure I want you reading my news, you got a chance to see the new film "Take Shelter". But for you homeless people who couldn't make it the filmmakers were nice enough to make a trailer for the flick that follows a man obsessed with building up a storm shelter with the fears that his nightmares might come true. Watch it from the computer at your local soup kitchen or whatever.

Say what you want about Rob Zombie, the guy knows horror. Weather or not he can make it well is debatable but his next film "The Lords of Salem" has my interest peaked based on the fact that Zombie said in a recent post there won't be any CGI gore in the flick. So even if the film turns out to be crap the blood should still look pretty cool. "Black Sunshine" is still a pretty cool song too.

I can't even begin to understand what the hell is going on in the new trailer for the Korean film "The Cat" but what I can tell you is there is most certainly a cat in the movie. Or maybe there isn't, I don't know. It may kill people, it may get killed or it may be a metaphor for something I will most likely be confused by. There's a poster too... which I don't understand either.

James Franco and Winona Ryder have signed on to star in "The Stare". In the flick Ryder will take on the role of a playwright who decide if the world is out to get her or if she's just cracking under the pressure of completing her next project. Franco will of course play a lovable stoner. Alright I don't know if that second part is true but come on, you have to assume that's what he'll be doing even if that really isn't his role.

I do believe I just found the topic for our next open week in the Podcast schedule. Rob Zombie has wrapped on a shoot in Vancouver for a commercial titled "The Torturer" for the laundry detergent brand Woolite. Weird to see a horror director taking on a commercial yes but throw in the fact that Zombie looks like a homeless man and the fact that it's for laundry detergent is enough to make blood run out of your nose. I'm sorry for doing that to you.

"Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" finally has a director my friends and it's none other than Craig Gillespie who is currently working on the "Fright Night" remake. He also directed "Mr. Woodcock" which wasn't a very good movie but it made me giggle every time I heard the name Woodcock so that's got to count for something. Teehee... Woodcock.

"Let Me In" director Matt Reeves has decided to return to the vampire genre by signing on to direct "The Passage". Based on a book by Justin Cronin the story focuses on a group of terminally ill patients who find they can be saved by being bitten by a rare bat. But wait! There's some nasty side effects. Here's a hint, they kill people.

Details on the plot of Rob Zombie's upcoming "The Lords of Salem" have finally been revealed and much to my surprise they have nothing to do with Salem Massachusetts. I kid! The plot revolves around a local DJ who unleashes an unholy curse on the town of Salem that a group of witches cast over 300 years ago. I bet this ruins their tourism also.

Stephen King and John Mellencamp have apparently had a musical in the works since 2006 titled "Ghost Brothers of Darkland County" and good news kids, it'll hit Atlanta in just under a year. The play focuses on the rumors around the murder of 3 people in a small town in Mississippi and I know I said it before but I'm not sure you understand, Stephen King and John Mellencamp created this. Let that sink in.

According to a recent post on the official facebook page for "Trick 'r Treat", "Sam will return" which would lead the world to believe that the anthology series will see a sequel in the near future. Either that or they know something about a "Cheers" reunion. Either way I'm excited.

A new TV spot for JJ Abrams' "Super 8" has found it's way online and honestly I still have no idea what the movie is about but I think it's somewhere in between "Maximum Overdrive" and "E.T.". Of course I watched the video with the volume down and really only paid attention for a few seconds. "Bert the Conqueror" was on last night! If you want to know how that was I could give you a detailed run down.

Rutger Hauer has landed the role of vampire hunter Van Helsing in upcoming Dario Argento film "Dracula 3D". That combined with his role in "Hobo With a Shotgun" has made Hauer the hottest new item in Hollywood. You'll see him on the cover of Bop! and Tiger Beat next month. The girls are going gaga for him.

Rob Zombie recently sat down to discuss his next project titled "Lords of Salem" saying it's the "bleakest of all my films". He goes on to state that the "Blob" remake is no longer happening with him at least and that he won't be touching another remake for a while. Seems he's found there's no real winning with horror fans when it comes to remakes. Kind of makes us sounds like jerks, which is true but still it doesn't have to be said. I have feelings too, Rob!

Australia seems like a happy fun loving place with their Kangaroos and Vegemite but I'm here to tell you they're a bunch of sickos. Case in point is the trailer for the new flick "Bad Behavior" which has a kind of "Clockwork Orange" type vibe to it. Meaning if "Clockwork Orange" had a bald fat man vomiting blood on a women, which I'm 99% sure it didn't.

With its release being only a year away we're all getting really excited for "Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters". Did I mention it's going to be in 3D? Anyway Ingrid Bolsø Berdal is the latest witch to be cast in the flick and I assume that means she will in fact be hunted. Of course she should be hunted in real life also, never trust anyone with one of those o's with a line in it in their name. 9 times out of 10 they're complete pricks.

It's official kids, Rob Zombie's next film will be titled "The Lords of Salem". You want more info? The movie will apparently be about a group of 300 year old witches who wreak havoc on modern day Salem, Massachusetts. Maybe the witches will all have silly accents! Oh wait..

I think we may have talked about this months ago on the site but MTV has finally given David Harris' "Savage County" a release date. The drunk kids in the woods series will air on October 7th at 11PM on MTV2. Thank the cast of "The Jersey Shore" for putting away the condoms for a week in order for this to actually see the light of day.

And it wouldn't be a weekday without some new photos from "Saw 3D" coming online. Today we get to see Cary Elwes as Dr. Gordon and if you were at my house last night around 10:30 you would have seen me realize that's the same guy from the first one and blood shooting out of my temples from rage.

Well tickle my 9 year old self again because Corey Feldman recently dropped some good news that the original "The Lost Boys" will be screening at selected House of Blues locations around the country. Apparently the whole thing will be set up as a big event where fans can come dressed in costume and get a sneak peek of "Lost Boys: The Thirst". Get your greasy sax man outfit ready!

The first clip from "Hatchet II" has made its way online and is ready for your viewing. The film will be released in full unrated glory on October 1st and from the clip looks to be just as good as the original. Take that any way you like.

Confirmation has come down from the heavens that there will in fact not be a TV movie made to wrap up the "Heroes" series. I had no idea the show was even canceled. What happened on the last episode? Did the cheerleader get knocked up?

"Big movie news announcement coming soon. Finally." That's the word from Rob Zombie's twitter account. Is that news? I'm not even sure at this point but I'm giddy with excitement.

The film is called "Chain Letter" and there's a new clip up on the tubes for you today. Remember how spooky it was to get a chain letter twenty years ago? About damn time they made a movie about that. Alright truth be told I didn't read the movie's synopsis but I'm taking a shot in the dark based on the title.