Remakes

Horror Headlines: Tuesday March 7th, 2009

The poster for Richard Kelly's "The Box" (link fixed) features a big, terrifying picture of... Cameron Diaz's face. Yikes.

The remake of "The Creature from the Black Lagoon" is on hold while they see how "The Wolfman" remake does. The creature design is already done, and at this point they're just waiting for the go-ahead from the studio.

Radha Mitchell seems genuinely upset in this interview that although a sequel to "Silent Hill 2" is in development, the original director probably won't return. Which leads me to believe she never actually saw the original film, which was a steaming pile of the highest order.

If you're interested, there's two new "H2" videos floating around this morning. You know, in case you really wanted to hear an interview with a 19 year old girl about a sequel to a remake to a film that she had probably never seen or heard of before signing on to star in it. Who wouldn't want to do that?

Fangoria is holding a massive movie prop auction that you can actually watch and participate in online. Fancy that!

In Real People News: 

That truck driver who just cut you off on the highway? You might not want to fuck with him, because the FBI thinks there's a good chance he might be a serial killer. Not sure why it took them this long to come to that conclusion, but at least it's confirmed my irrational fear of truck drivers.

Remember when you saw that gang of roving kids in "Hostel" films and thought, "bullshit"? Ya, maybe Eli Roth is smarter than we thought.

Boy found dead in industrial sized oven, burnt to a crisp. Police could not confirm or deny reports that they were looking for a 6-inch tall Gingerbread man who sounds like Gary Busey.

There aren't adequate words to describe the sheer stupidity of the "Twilight" religion, so I'm not even going to try.

On this day in history: 

1970: The X-rated movie Midnight Cowboy wins the Oscar for Best Picture.

Horror Headlines: Monday April 6th, 2009

Fresh off the news of Freddy being cast in the "Nightmare on Elm St." remake, comes news that Kyle Gallner is now in talks to sign on as "Quentin the podcaster". Gallner recently gave an impressive turn in "The Haunting in Connecticut", a film where I would honestly say he outshined Virginia Madsen, an Oscar nominee. So, this casting news is good to me.

"Fanboys" director Kyle Newman to step in to direct "War Monkeys", after the original director Kevin Munroe had to bow out due to "scheduling conflicts". "War Monkeys" is about two janitors who get stuck in a government research facility over Christmas holiday who have accidentally released war-trained Rhesus monkeys. Wackiness and (presumably) carnage ensues.

Bill Zane as a crazy bald magician? Sure thing. While I'm on the subject, whatever happened to his sister? Remember "Freddy's Dead"? I wonder where she's at these days.

Apparently when Harold Raimis says that the entire original cast will return for "Ghostbusters 3", that includes Rick Moranis. That of course means they can only start shooting once his latest direct to video sequel for "Honey I Shrunk the Kids" wraps up... but I think he'll make the time.

The writer of the "IT" remake speaks, and claims the picture is being written for a "Hard R". Sounds pretty awesome to me, although I'm not sure my brain is prepared for R-Rated scary clown action.

In Real People News: 

I'm not going to say that I have NO sympathy for someone who dies from getting silicone injected into their thighs and butt from an UNLICENSED FRIEND... but... no, I am saying that actually. That's about the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Consider Darwin pleased.

Thank God police are doing really important stuff to keep us safe, like breaking up massively organized pillow fights. What would we ever do without them?

Google street-view car attacked! How much do you want to bet that these people "disappeared" soon after attacking the car... you don't mess with Mother Google, people, you just don't.

On this day in history: 

1990: Police trace a series of obscene phone calls to the president's private White House telephone. The caller turns out to be the president of American University in Washington, Richard E. Berendzen, who was apparently hung up over some personal ad. He is later forced to resign his position but is never charged with any crime.

How Jackie Earle Haley Became Freddy

By now you've no doubt read the news, that Jackie Earle Haley, former child star and current resurging actor, will be the new Freddy Krueger in Platinum Dunes "A Nightmare on Elm St".

Horror Headlines: Thursday March 26th, 2009

This time tomorrow I'll be on a plane bound for Indianapolis and Horror Hound Weekend. We will have updates for the site, but I'm just not entirely sure when they'll go live. So be sure to check back all day, and if you're headed out to the convention as well, see you there!

Fred Durst to direct horror film from the writer of "Se7en" and "The Wolfman". Yup, THAT Fred Durst. Guess he's taking a break from shitty music for a bit to make some shitty movies. Can't sneeze at that writer's cred though I guess. Then again... FRED DURST.

Bigfoot contracts rabies in "The Bloody Rage of Bigfoot". Isn't it amazing how sometimes the best ideas are the simplest?

Prepare for your mind to be blown. Universal has nabbed the rights to the comic book "The Strange Adventures of HP Lovecraft", and Ron Howard's producing. With Lovecraft's popularity surging in recent years thanks to the internet, I figured it was only a matter of time until he found his way into a mainstream movie, but Ron Howard? No director has been announced yet, but the speculation is that Howard will take it himself. Whoa.

Cameras roll next week on a remake of 1975's "The Land That Time Forgot", directed by C. Thomas Howell. I know it seems like I'm just pulling these names out of my ass today, but I swear I'm telling the truth!

In Real People News: 

Japanese man confirmed to have survived BOTH the Hiroshima and Nagasaki atomic bombs that ended WWII. First he was on business in Hiroshima, then he returned home to Nagasaki just in time to get slammed again. Remember that next time you think you're having bad luck.

The "PMS Reminder" app for the iPhone sends you a handy email once a month to remind you to watch your P's and Q's. I would just bury the icon a few pages in... don't want the fiance stumbling on that one.

I think we can all agree that we hated the "rich kids" when we were younger... but I kind of like this one, who drew a ginormous 60 foot penis on top of his parents house, visible from the air. Gotta admire that kid's moxy. The best part? It was months before his parents found out. (now with 100% more linkage)

On this day in history: 

1830: Joseph Smith publishes The Book of Mormon, after translating it from golden plates turned over by the angel Moroni. Smith maintained that the text contained in the tablets were written in "Reformed Egyptian" which he read by means of two magic stones from the Old Testament, the Urim and Thummim.

"Nightmare on Elm St." Script Review (Video)

Latino review just posted this pretty intricate video review of the working script for Platinum Dunes "Nightmare on Elm St.". It's not exactly spoiler heavy, but it does outline the characters, Freddy's back story, and the main impetus of the plot. There was a revalation in the last 1:00 or so that I'm not totally jazzed about knowing early, so consider yourself warned.

The script sounds pretty interesting, except for all of the vomit inducing pop culture references they seem to have crammed in. Example, we first meet the main "teens" while they're playing Guitar Hero. Yikes.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday March 24th, 2009

Remember how the acclaimed Swedish vampire film "Let The Right One In" was just released on DVD? Thanks to some sleuthing over at Icons of Fright, it was discovered that the subtitles have been almost criminally changed from the original English subs on the Swedish DVD. The cumulative result, as the writer puts it, could be construed as a "dumbing down" or "watering down" of the subtlety and strange dark humor of the film. At the link, an exhaustive description of the changes including screen caps to illustrate the point.

Producers speak on both remakes of "The Birds" and "Poltergeist". They seem to have a healthy respect for the originals, so I'll at least give these a shot, even if neither one really needs a reboot.

Here's a naughty still from Lars Von Trier's "Antichrist", which is about to make its debut at Cannes. The psychological horror film stars Willem Dafoe and is about a couple who retreat to a cabin in the woods following the death of their child.

Now this is more like it, if you're interested, here's 20 hi-res stills from "Blood: The Last Vampire". Japanese school girls... that is all.

In Real People News: 

People in the UK are really pissed about Google Street View ruining their privacy. If anyone's going to spy on them, it's going to be their own government, dammit!

Want some space underwear? Why yes, I do actually.

One strange side effect of the bad economy? increasing amounts of college educated, office working women are getting into the "adult" business. Can't blame them right? Strippers seem to be the only people making money right now.

On this day in history: 

1874: Illusionist Harry Houdini born.

The "R" Word and Trivialising "Last House"

Recently, Patrick Goldstein of the LA Times wrote an editorial titled "RapeLay: Sleazier than any Hollywood horror film?" which compared the interactive hentai rape simulator that was recently removed from Amazon's site to films like "Hostel." As the title suggests, his general conclusion was that even though you can trace the horrible premise of "RapeLay" to the sexual repression of Japanese culture, it still far surpasses

The Last House on the Left (Remake) (REVIEW)

Word of any new genre remake is likely greeted with a shrug by most horror fans. By this point, we've largely had to resign ourselves to the idea that any older film that had any meat on its bones will be brought in for a picking over. Even in that context though, "Last House on the Left" seemed a difficult choice. The 1972 original film that launched Wes Craven's directing career was gritty, brutal, and in many ways, of its time.

Wes Craven on Remakes, "25/8" Plot

It seems like Wes Craven has taken a lot of flack lately from the horror community, both for the shilling nature of his Twitter feed, and his willingness to remake his own films.

And, I get that. I've always loved Craven though because of the cerebral way that he treats the genre. People forget that before going into horror films Craven was actually a Professor of Humanities. He brings an interesting viewpoint on things, whether or not they always turn out Oscar worthy.

Horror Headlines: Friday March 13th, 2009

The Wes Craven produced "Last House on the Left" remake hits theaters everywhere today. Expect a review for it some time tomorrow, in the meantime feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments.

Oh Snap! New Line Cinema has announced that it's releasing "Final Destination: Death Trip 3D" against Rob Zombie's "H2". That date would be August 28th, 2009. For those unfamiliar with this, "H2" has been "served", it is now their opportunity to "serve back". If they do, then it's officially "on". In which case we settle all of this with a dance-off. Oooohhh, how exciting!

Valerie Cruz (Dexter), has been cast on the next season of HBO's "True Blood". We used to cover it when the site, but stopped when fan interest seemed to wain. What do you guys think, is anyone out there interested in having us pick up coverage again? Informal poll in the comments!

Trailer for "Orphan", starring Peter Sarsgaard and Vera Farmiga, about "a husband and wife who recently lost their baby [who] adopt a 9-year-old girl who is not nearly as innocent as she claims to be". Seems to be lots of evil kid movies lately. Wonder if there's something to that.

The "Night of the Demons" remake has a release date, October 9th 2009. Suspiciously absent from this announcement, whether or not it's going wide theatrically. I refuse to believe a film starring Edward Furlong, Tiffany Shepis and Linnea Quigley is playing across the country in 2009. Not that I wouldn't love to see it happen, but let's be realistic here people.

Speaking of wide releases, the remake of Stephen King's "IT" is going to be an "all out theatrical" adaptation set "in present day". I do enjoy the original miniseries, although I think we can all agree that the finale needs a much needed special FX upgrade, so I'm interested to see how this reboot turns out.

In Real People News: 

If you're practicing bestiality on Florida, better hurry up! The long overdue ban is due any day now. Better party like it's 1999, yall.

Good news, the fraud going on in Iraq at the hands of US corporations is actually far worse than anything Bernie Madoff's done in the last 30 years. Oh wait... that's actually horribly depressing news. I'm really bad at this.

One more dose of awesomely ironic hilarity for you on this Friday. Monkey kills owner with coconut for making him pick coconuts out of trees all day. That's it, you've been a great crowd this week folks... till Monday!

On this day in history: 

1881: An anarchist from the radical group People's Will throws a bomb which disrupts Czar Alexander II's motorcade. After he thanks God for his deliverance, the anarchist yells "It is too early to thank God" and throws a second bomb, causing injuries from which Alexander bleeds to death.

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