fright night

Horror Headlines: Tuesday April 19th, 2011

James Franco and Winona Ryder have signed on to star in "The Stare". In the flick Ryder will take on the role of a playwright who decide if the world is out to get her or if she's just cracking under the pressure of completing her next project. Franco will of course play a lovable stoner. Alright I don't know if that second part is true but come on, you have to assume that's what he'll be doing even if that really isn't his role.

I do believe I just found the topic for our next open week in the Podcast schedule. Rob Zombie has wrapped on a shoot in Vancouver for a commercial titled "The Torturer" for the laundry detergent brand Woolite. Weird to see a horror director taking on a commercial yes but throw in the fact that Zombie looks like a homeless man and the fact that it's for laundry detergent is enough to make blood run out of your nose. I'm sorry for doing that to you.

"Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" finally has a director my friends and it's none other than Craig Gillespie who is currently working on the "Fright Night" remake. He also directed "Mr. Woodcock" which wasn't a very good movie but it made me giggle every time I heard the name Woodcock so that's got to count for something. Teehee... Woodcock.

"Let Me In" director Matt Reeves has decided to return to the vampire genre by signing on to direct "The Passage". Based on a book by Justin Cronin the story focuses on a group of terminally ill patients who find they can be saved by being bitten by a rare bat. But wait! There's some nasty side effects. Here's a hint, they kill people.

In Real People News: 

If you're a 48 year old man from Florida being accused of child abuse there's not many excuses you can use to get out of the charges. Of course you could always try the excuse that the kids are just jealous of your roller skating abilities and making the whole thing up. That won't work either but man it's pretty funny.

Wait this is illegal? Two Texas High School students are facing charges after decapitating baby chickens in the hopes of breaking their baseball teams losing streak. I originally wrote that they decapitated a bunch of chick's heads but that sounds a lot worse if you read it wrong. Or a lot better if you have trouble getting dates. I don't judge.

Horror Headlines: Friday April 8th, 2011

Juan Carlos Fresnadillo, who directed "28 Weeks Later", arguably the second best of the time later movies, has been confirmed to be directing "The Crow" remake which is full steam ahead after delays out the ying yang. I played football in High School and for one game this kid painted his face like "The Crow" because he thought it would be frightening to the opposing team. Holy crap we harassed that kid to the point of tears. Good story huh? "The Crow"!

Holy mother of god the remake goodness just keeps flowing. Here it is folks, the first stills from the "Fright Night" retelling for your peepers and man are they.... there. I mean look at Evil Ed! He looks so... not evil, I'm sorry I can't do this today. Let's move on.

Javier Bardem, who is my all time favorite air gun murderer, is close to signing on to play Roland Deschain in the "Dark Tower" series that will be spread over three films and a TV series. I never read the books, should we be upset or really excited about this?

I only know Madeline Zima as the girl who likes to punch guys in the face while she makes the nasty on "Californication" but apparently she's done some other things. Things meaning she's signed up for the new people trapped in a bunker thriller "Storage". I've got high hopes for this one people, mostly because it seems like Madeline has no problem getting nude, so I assume this movie is going to be great.

In Real People News: 

A Georgia man has been fined $300 and ordered to serve a year probation after he tattooed a three year old. Honestly if it only will cost me $300 bucks to put some ink on a toddler I think I might be game. How many people can say they've done that?

And just to top off your Friday here's a story about a guy in Kentucky who's been arrested for ejaculating on a woman in the cereal aisle of a local supermarket. Have a good weekend you princes of Maine, you kings of New England.

Horror Headlines: Thursday October 14th, 2010

Well here's something you don't see every day. The release of the "Fright Night" remake has actually been pushed up from an October 2011 release to August. I don't think I've ever heard of a horror film actually having a release date moved up. This has to be one of the signs of the apocalypse.

Luke Evans and Alice Eve have both joined the cast of the big screen version of Edgar Allan Poe's "The Raven". It's already been announced that John Cusak will play Poe and I will not understand a word of the dialog. Can't wait!

If you don't have "Walking Dead" fever by now there's a solid chance you're a commie. There I said it. Commies won't be excited to see the new TV spot for the AMC series and they hate freedom. Therefore if you're not excited after you watch thee new trailer than you hate freedom and you are of course a commie. That's simple math, folks.

Hollywood's El Capitan Theater will be showing "The Nightmare Before Christmas" in 4D this month, meaning the movie will be in 3D and the theater will also feature wind and fog along with some special guests. I love this movie and to date I've paid to see it when it was released, paid to see it in 3D, bought it on VHS, bought it on DVD and finally on Blu-Ray. Well played on the 4D Mr. Burton but you've already got enough of my money.

In Real People News: 

You ever get drunk and go over to your buddy's house to mess with him? Well Two guys in Uniontown PA took that idea to the next level by getting hammered and knocking on the local police station door. Apparently they don't look kindly on that sort of thing. Good to know.

On this day in history: 

1968 – An earthquake rated at 6.8 on the Richter Scale destroys the Australian town of Meckering, Western Australia, and it also ruptures all nearby main highways and railroads.

Horror Headlines: Thursday September 2nd, 2010

There's a new poster floating around from the upcoming "Let Me In" flick and good news, it's French and it's got just the right amount of blood in it! For those of you French speaking readers keeping track at home "Let me In" is Le Remake of the Swedish film Le "Let the Right One In" that I thought was Le Crap!

If you were in Vegas recently and weren't in a drug induced cloud of rage then you might of scored a peak at what David Tennant is going to look like as Peter Vincent in the upcoming "Fright Night" remake. Then again if you were in Vegas and were spending your time looking for horror movie posters then I don't think you deserve to be reading my news. I bid you good day sir... Good day sir!

Maybe I'm out of touch good people at Spike but I've been reading your nominees for the Ultimate Scream category for your 2010 Scream Awards and I'm a bit confused as to why something like "Avatar" is nominated. Does Ultimate Scream mean I should be screaming at my computer while reading your stupid ass nominee list? Cause ya got me!

Want to experience a producer and a director give each other high fives via the written word? You're in luck then! Eli Roth and Daniel Stamm recently sat down with Empire Magazine to discuss "The Last Exorcism", mashed potatoes and fashion. Spoiler! Eli Roth is a charming SOB.

In Real People News: 

Tasers are so hot right now! Just yesterday a student at Westlake Middle School in North Carolina felt the tasers wrath after she refused to stop choking a smaller boy in her school. If I had tased every girl who made me feel like crap in middle school 85% off the yearbook photos would of featured girls with smoldering hair.

On this day in history: 

1666 - The Great Fire of London broke out. It destroyed nearly 400 acres, including some 13,000 houses and the old St. Paul's Cathedral.

Horror Headlines: Friday August 20th, 2010

A new super hot super spooky poster for the upcoming Ryan Reynolds flick "Buried" has been released. Most of the quotes are cut off in the poster but I assume somewhere in there is "Please bring back Two guys, a girl and a Pizza Place"

The screenwriters behind "Ed Wood" have signed on to write the upcoming Tim Burton stop motion animated "The Adams Family" film. I was pretty excited about this and then I saw they also wrote "Problem Child 2" and "Agent Cody Banks". After that I got super excited!

"Hellraiser: Revelations" is confirmed to start filming next month and will in fact not be a remake of the original classic, which is apparently still on the table. This one will be a small budget continuation of the Hellraiser franchise and will most likely go direct to video. Small budget meaning they can only afford four nails for Pinhead's face. Hey, time are tough for everyone.

Emily Montague from "Melrose Place" has been added to the cast of the upcoming "Fright Night" remake. Don't get too excited though, she'll apparently play a victim of our head vamp so I'm guessing her screen time will total about 5 minutes. I have no idea why you would have been excited anyway... you watch "Melrose Place"?

In Real People News: 

A bull went batshit insane recently at a bullfight in Spain and leaped into the crowd. The best part? There's a freakin video of it! Of course now that I think about it, maybe leaping into the crowd at an event where the entire focus is on you being stabbed to death isn't that nuts.

On this day in history: 

1998 - Retaliating for deadly embassy bombings in East Africa, the United States launched cruise missile strikes against al-Qaida training camps in Afghanistan and what was described as a chemical plant in Sudan.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday June 22nd, 2010

Now becoming a daily occurrence, the upcoming "Fright Night" remake is in the news once more! The official casting appears to be over as the movie has been given a release date of October 7, 2011.

Even though the current season of HBO's "True Blood" is only two episodes in, the big wigs love it so much they've already renewed the show for a fourth season in 2011.

There's a new horror channel coming to your TV on October 1st, even though it's not exactly new; FEARnet has announced it will become a linear cable channel as opposed to its current on demand status. The channel will be broadcast in high def and hopefully remain uncut.

Disney appears to be poised to start on its first movie property after their buyout of Marvel comics as they've hired "Conan" scribes Thomas Donnelly and Joshua Oppenheimer to pen a feature length Doctor Strange film.

In Real People News: 

A man working the late shift at a Vernon meat packing plant lost both legs after falling into a meat grinder. Suddenly my drab cubicle doesn't see so bad.

A French prisoner removed his cellmate's lung and proceeded to cook it on a makeshift burner with a few onions before devouring it. He didn't mean to eat his lung though, he was after his heart so he could steal his soul.

On this day in history: 

1633 - The Holy Office in Rome forces Galileo Galilei to recant his scientific view that the Sun, not the Earth, is the center of the Universe.

Horror Headlines: Monday June 25th, 2010

All signs are pointing to doom for ABC's "Happy Town" as the show has been yanked from its summer time slot, with plans to air the final two episodes on "some Saturday in July". It's pretty bad when they won't even give you a date for your finale.

In case you happened to miss it over the weekend, Snoop Dogg wrote a love song to Sookie Stackhouse, the lead character of HBO's "True Blood". Yah, that happened.

According to Elvira's "B" log, we can expect the return of Elvira's Movie Macabre later this year! Though there is no word yet on when or what station, she does make mention that the show will be nationally syndicated.

Late last week British actress Imogen Poots was cast as the female lead in the fast tracked "Fright Night" remake. I just wanted to be able to use the word 'Poots' in a news story.

In Real People News: 

An Australian millionaire swallowed rat poison to avoid going to jail after receiving a guilty verdict for sexually abusing his step-daughter since she was 11 years old. Thankfully, he was saved at a local hospital forcing him to face his sentencing for the crimes he committed.

When this Welshman went to trial for child pornography, they also found numerous accounts of extreme pornography on his computer as well. Said extreme pornography included videos of women having sex with numerous animals, including a dead squid.

On this day in history: 

1942 - A Japanese submarine surfaces near the Columbia River in Oregon, and fires 17 shells at nearby Fort Stevens. Nobody is injured. It is one of a handful of attacks by the Japanese during World War II against the U.S. mainland.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday June 9th, 2010

Christopher Mintz-Plasse, better known to everybody as McLovin, has signed on to play Charilies best friend Evil Ed in the upcoming remake of "Fright Night". This is overshadowed however with the announcement that Doctor Who himself, David Tennant, will be stepping into the shoes of Roddy McDowall's "Vincent".

Porn star Belladonna will be making her main stream debut in the upcoming "Stripped", an indie feature labeled as post-feminism horror.

Dark Horse Comics and Universal Studios are teaming up to bring two popular comic titles to life. While details are scant, "Dreadful Ed" and "Mary Scary" are set to be brought to life as animated features .

In Real People News: 

A Cambodian woman who was discovered after she had spent 18 years alone living in the jungle turned up missing once again. Everyone took a tentative breath of release as she was found hiding in a 10 meter deep pit toilet for 11 days.

A new report claims that not only did the Bush Administration advocate torturing their prisoners, they also used the prisoners for secret medical experiments.

On this day in history: 

68 - Rather than suffer a Senate-imposed death by flogging, Nero implores his secretary Epaphroditus to slit his throat. The freedman complies, giving the condemned emperor a quick death, just as centurions arrive at the villa to haul him away.

Horror Headlines: Tuesday May 11th, 2010

Here's a remake shocker to start your day; who's signed on to play the fanged villain in the upcoming "Fright Night" remake? Why, none other than Colin Farrell, that's who. Farrell joins the already cast Toni Colette who will be playing mother to "Star Trek" co-star Anton Yelchin in the lead role.

Want to see me pee myself in a crammed theater? Buy me tickets to see the upcoming Tibor Tackacs feature "Spider" in 3D!

The small European town of Thirsk is fed up with the new UK Thriller "Inbred" filming in their town as they're afraid that viewers will think they really are inbred. If the shoe fits...

In Real People News: 

A drug product research lab located in Seattle took animal cruelty to new heights when someone placed a lab monkey, cage and all, inside a rack washer. The 20 minute cycle filled with 180 degree water, caustic foam and detergents killed the monkey.

Billings, MT residents have taken a stand against the medical marijuana movement by firebombing two medical marijuana dispensaries and tagging the buildings with "Not in our town!". Maybe it's me, but I don't think the protesters thought this idea of setting a marijuana store on fire through all the way.

On this day in history: 

1310 - 54 members of the Knights Templar are burned at the stake in France for being heretics. Established during the Crusades to protect pilgrims traveling to the Holy Land, this military order came into increasing conflict with Rome until Clement V officially dissolved it at the Council of Vienna in 1312.

Horror Headlines: Wednesday March 17th, 2010

The "After Dark" Film festival extends their indie horror reach as they create After Dark Originals, their own film film production arm. Continuing to showcase new talent, the new venture allows them to produce their own movies with new directing and producing talent.

Prepare yourself; Sigourney Weaver is going to bite you. The veteran actress has signed on to play a Queen Vampire in Amy Heckerling's horror comedy, "Vamps"! Weaver will be starring alongside Alicia Silverstone and Kristen Ritter.

Craig Gillespie, director of "Lars and the Real Girl", has been tapped to direct the upcoming "Fright Night" remake proving that there actually is one person out there that still cares about this project!

Liv Ullman will be in "The Ghost Brothers of Darkland County", a musical collaboration between John Mellencamp and Stephen King. Read that again; 'a musical collaboration between John Mellencamp and Stephen King'!

In Real People News: 

Most men have at least thought about using their junk as a weapon at one point in their lives, but not that many can say they've attacked a female police officer with their testicles. Lithuanian "Cops" must be the greatest show ever.

Are you dying to get your hands on a piece of pop culture history? Prepare yourself, because the syringe that delivered the fatal dose to Michael Jackson is about to go up for auction! The bidding is expected to start at $5 Million dollars, plus 1 soul.

On this day in history: 

965 - Pope Leo VIII dies of a stroke during sexual intercourse. Perhaps the best way for a man to die, but not a very appropriate choice for the Bishop of Rome.

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