American Horror Story

American Horror Story: Halloween Part 2 (Episode 5)

Episode 5 of American Horror Story has been brought to us right after the recent news that the show has been renewed for a second season. This episode was definitely a wild ride and it has probably been my favorite episode so far. This week we've watched Ben and Vivien's relationship fall farther into the ground, we've seen a whole bunch of ghosts doing ghostly things, and we've got a lot of background on Tate and his relationship with Constance. Here's the recap:

American Horror Story: Halloween Part 1 (Episode 4)

Legend has it that Halloween night is the night the dead are able to walk the earth with the living. However, in the Harmon household, they don't really seem to need a special day or an invitation to do it. And so begins the first part of our Halloween episodes of "American Horror Story." In this episode we learn the backstory behind the last owners of the house, the fabulous and bickering couple Chad (Zachary Quinto) and Patrick (Teddy Sears), a major character dies, another rises from the dead and the gimp suit returns.

Horror Headlines: Monday October 24th, 2011

Hey are you watching "American Horror Story"?! No? Well I hate your stupid face! Sorry. I didn't mean that. But the FX show has been getting some decent buzz and now Mena Suvari and Kathleen Rose Perkins will both be guest starting on the show. Going to watch now? If you care about our relationship you will.

Teller, the one who doesn't talk in Penn & Teller, is creating a stage adaptation of William Peter Blatty's "The Exorcist" which will open in NY next year. The story will focus more on the questions of faith rather than the exoticism itself so it'll be a large change from the movie adaptation. There will also be no spoken parts. Should be interesting.... that last part is a lie.

Corey Feldman is in haunted Halloween attraction flick "Six Degrees of Hell" and I'm 99% sure I wouldn't be talking about it if he wasn't but here's a new trailer for the movie. Enjoy it. Or don't. I'm not the boss of you. And yes I know I've made the same joke before. Thanks for pointing out my flaws.

Bruce Dern leave "Lords of Salem". Bruce Davidson replace. Chris Knight join cast. He was Greg Brady.

In Real People News: 

A California man won 100 bucks after he lubed himself up and squeezed his ass into one of those tiny toddler swings at a local playground. Of course then his friends ditched him and left him stuck in the swing for hours until someone finally called the fire department to come cut him out. 100 bucks though... a lot of money.

A Los Angeles man is under arrest after he was caught on camera abusing his infant son. The cameras were set up by his wife in an attempt to catch him cheating. So on the plus side he wasn't cheating.

American Horror Story: Murder House (Episode 3)

This week's episode of "American Horror Story" brought us a lot of backstory regarding the original owners of the house, The Montgomery's, as well as the nature of the relationship between Moira and Constance. Although we learned a lot about the character's surrounding the house and more about the house as a character itself, i felt like we were lacking a lot of the present day action that the previous two episodes were so full of. That being said, I'm still enjoying myself quite a bit. So here's my top three points of interest from this week's episode:

American Horror Story: Home Invasion (Episode 2)

The second episode of "American Horror Story" was chock full of further character development, a ton of questions of who's living and who's dead and a very "Strangers-esque" style home invasion mixed with a bit of cult like murder. Now I'm not going to go with scene for scene descriptions on this show because well, first of all that's kind of boring and second of all, I'm assuming if you're reading this then you saw the same thing I did. If you haven't watched episode two yet, TURN AWAY NOW!! There, now you've been warned.

Snapshot: "American Horror Story" (TV Series)

A new haunted house drama premiered Wednesday night on FX that was created and produced by Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk, the creators of "Glee". The series centers around the Harmon family, who move from Boston to Los Angeles after Ben (Dylan McDermott) has an affair. They get a great deal on an old mansion, finding out once they buy the home that the previous owners were involved in a murder suicide and that the house is haunted. I'm assuming this is where all that weird fetish imagery that they've been promoting in the trailers happens?

Horror Headlines: Tuesday September 27th, 2011

We're just a little over a week away from the premiere of "American Horror Story" on FX and I'm not going to lie I'm a little bit excited. Well, let's say I'm as excited as I can get after seeing the new artwork for the show, which looks like a mix between the Russian Circus and a Nine Inch Nails concert from 20 years ago. Ya know... classy, in a rubber suit sort of way.

Tobias Segal, who I don't know but hate because his name is Tobias, has joined Ryan Reynolds , Kevin Bacon and Jeff Bridges in the cast of "R.I.P.D.", a new flick that follows two undead cops trying to solve the case of a serial killer. No word yet as to what Tobias will be playing in the film but based on name a lone I'm guessing a chimney sweep or a paper boy with a heart of gold.

Maybe I'm losing my edge but I think "Paranormal Activity 3" might be kind of good. The trailer creeped me out and today there's a clip from the film that equality creeped me out. The entire clip also takes place on a giant flat screen TV so if you listen to podcast will know that fact will drive Eric insane, which is nice. Maybe I'm just focusing my anger on those around me rather than some director in Hollywood I've never met. Let's explore each other.

The creators of "Six Degrees of Hell" are calling it next year's scariest movie and today we know why because of a new teaser. Why is the new haunted house flick so frightening? Well because Cory Feldman is in it and it and it looks like they bleached his hair for the role and as we all know that can do some serious damage to your roots. Permanent root damage is the most frightening thing in the world!

In Real People News: 

This old guy from Kentucky is awesome! He attacked his neighbor with a coffee cup because he was staring at him. No joke! You ever been in the mall and there's some weirdo looking at you and you just want to go bash his head in with a coffee cup? This 79 year old guy did that! I want to hang out with him.

A few years back my wife and I had to stop playing Monopoly together because on more than one occasion we almost came to blows. If you're not going to sell any property then what the hell are you playing the game for?! But here's a guy who took it one step further and choked the crap out of his wife during a heated game of Yahtzee. While I can't condone this behavior I can say I understand. And that I condone it. Wait, no!

Horror Headlines: Thursday, September 15th, 2011

I don't care what anyone says, I'm excited about
"The Darkest Hour". Mostly because I'm a travel buff and the story focuses on a group of teens trapped in Moscow during a strange alien attack. And today we've got a cool new motion poster for the flick. I have no clue where these things show up but I want to see it in person. I also want to visit Dorney Park for their Halloween Nights. That's the ad I got before the video of the poster. It looks more fun than the movie to be honest.

Looks like the good people at Sony Pictures plan on releasing the original "Ghostbusters" back into theaters sometime in late October, most likely around Halloween. With the third installment of the franchise taking its sweet ass time to get going this is probably the only slimer action you're going to get for a long time. Unless that start running those old cartoons they made from the films. That's probably not going to happen though.

From the trailers and stills I've seen I'm still completely lost on what the new FX series "American Horror Story" is about but according to their site it focuses on a family that moves into a creepy house after the father does some diddling on the side. Well now we've learned that Sarah Paulson, who you probably know from "What Women Want" has joined the cast for 4 episodes. She'll be playing a medium that plays a big role in some sort of story arc. You're welcome for all this useful information.

I can't believe this hasn't been made before but here's the first image for "Wet Dream on Elm Street". If you couldn't guess the film is a porn parody of "A Nightmare On Elm Street" and today we've got our first look at Freddy Fingers, who instead of knives has dildos on his glove. There's something I never thought I'd write. It's a good day.

In Real People News: 

Let this be a lesson to you kids, death can strike at any time and at any place. Don't believe me? Here's a story about a woman who was killed in a McDonald's bathroom when a faulty hose leading to the soda machine started pumping carbon dioxide into the room. You're not even safe in the bathroom!

You ever see those pricks walking around the grocery story eating grapes from the fruit stand? I thought that was pretty bad but here's a story about a guy in Pennsylvania who is facing felony changes after he was eating raw beef in Walmart and putting the opened packages back on the shelf. You read right, raw beef... in Walmart. They should give him a medal for still being alive.

Horror Headlines: Monday August 22nd, 2011

The new FX series "American Horror Story" has a new teaser this morning and I'm not 100% sure but I think someone slipped some shrooms in my muffin. The series follows a family that moves into a new house that appears to play on all of their deepest fears. From the video it looks like those fears are bursting into flames, people in rubber suits and slutty maids. The muffin was corn if you were wondering. And it was delicious.

Sometimes the demand for a movie is so great that not even the warmongers in Hollywood can stop it from happening. "Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance" is just such a film and today my friends we have the first trailer for the soon to be Oscar winning epic. Nic Cage with a giant burning skull riding around on a bike blowing crap up. Prepare for your eyes to shoot out of your head and start dry humping the computer screen.

There's a gaggle of Amityville movies lined up for the near future so it only makes sense that the folks at The Asylum would throw their hats in the ring. Yes the same company that bequeathed "Titanic 2" on us. The movie will be called "Amityville Haunted" and while no specific details have been released it sounds like the movie will have no real ties to the classic story.

"Weeds" star Mary-Louise Parker is the latest addition to the growing cast of "R.I.P.D". Based on the graphic novel of the same name the undead buddy cop flick has already got Ryan Reynolds, Jeff Bridges and Kevin Bacon in its roster. Parker will play the overseer of the secret undead agency, a role that was originally offered to Jodie Foster. I think I was next on the list after Parker so this is kind of a let down.

In Real People News: 

As a new parent I can confirm the fact that babies take up a ton of space. Not to mention all the crap you have to shove into your car every time you want to go to Hooters. Now try to pack all that crap into a pick up truck and you get a Florida woman riding around town with a baby in a stroller in the back of a pickup truck. Don't worry though it wasn't her baby, she was just babysitting. You don't put your own baby in that kind of danger. Oh and bonus points, the entire thing was caught on video.

I don't understand this one at all. A Illinois man is under arrest after he attacked his mother with a butcher knife after she offered to make him a sandwich. Who hates sandwiches so much that they attack anyone who offers them one? Who hates sandwiches? What the hell is wrong with the world?!

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