Jon Schnaars's blog

Want Horror in the Theater this Week?

If you're feeling blue because you've already caught "The Happening" and "The Strangers," and you just feel like being truly horrified this weekend, let me suggest the following: Go see "The Love Guru."

Now, I haven't seen this movie, nor would I ever subject myself to that sort of torture, but judging from A. O. Scott's review, Mike Myers may have inadvertently created the most terrifying film of the year. Allow me to quote at length:

Box Office Special - Genre Flick Double Dip

It's a good weekend any time there is a new horror release to check out in the theater. But when there's a new horror release and a high profile super hero movie, well, that my friends is a glorious thing. So it was with much anticipation that I headed to the theater on Saturday to take in "The Incredible Hulk" and "The Happening" in one sitting.

Box Office Special - Strangers Sets a New High Bar

Only a few days after Hollywood literally blew up, the box office figuratively blew up to the tune of over $172 million, a new single weekend high for 2008. Credit this surge to two new high profile films piggy-backing on the success of other niche fare.

For TV Horrors, Shorter is Better

Spurred by last night's premiere of "Fear Itself," I've been thinking a lot about television horror. About two years ago, my old roommates and I decided to switch from Time Warner Cable (aka Satan's Cable Service) to DirecTV. Ostensibly this change was about better sports coverage, but it came with an added bonus: Chiller.

Box Office Special - Put the Kiddies to Bed, The Strangers Dropped

It's been a month and a half, but horror was back in theaters around the country this week. And as we all probably suspected, audiences turned out in droves. Behind some positive buzz and catchy, creepy marketing, "The Strangers" pulled in $20 million, good enough for third on the weekend behind "Coitus in Urban Environs" and "Indiana Jones and the Temple of a Bunch of Crazy Alien Conspiracy Whackos."

Glorious, Slow-Motion Fighting Robots

I used to love watching that old robot fighting show on Comedy Central (BattleBots?). This is a way classier looking (and sounding) version of that goodness.

Box Office Special - Old Man Scores Big Box

We have a new opening weekend champion. Of the year that is. "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" dropped into theaters like a rickety old man tripping over a crack in the sidewalk, and while struggling to rise, he found some shiny gold coins. For my full (rant-filled) analysis, you'll have to listen to Episode 28, but let's just say I wasn't amused, at all.

$20 Movies on the Horizon?

It's no secret that movie theaters have been struggling. That may surprise some, but it's important for this discussion to separate out the movie making business from the movie showing business. Hollywood (and others) make movies. The process by which a movie gets produced is arcane and overly-complex, and I won't pretend to know everything about it or examine it here. When it comes to putting movies in front of audiences, there's another system, equally labyrinthine in design, that dictates where, when and how a movie gets shown.

Dick's Ubik Coming to the Big Screen

Variety reported yesterday that our brains may soon be melted by another Philip K. Dick story on the big screen. This time around, it's "Ubik," regarded by many as Dick's master work, getting the film treatment. The cinematic effort will be produced by Celluloid Dreams, and Dick's daughter will be intimately involved. Celluloid Dreams has been responsible for several recent critical successes including "Persepolis," "Son of Rambow," and this year's "Funny Games" reboot.

Don't Be Alarmed, the CHUDs Aren't Here... Yet.

I don't want to upset anyone here on a Monday morning, but what you see here may be the first documentation of the massive NYC-ConEd cover-up of the cannabalistic humanoid underground dwellers' escape from the sewers.

I was only able to sneak two pics before "the man" shewed me away, but clearly something is afoot outside my office building. I might start blasting 80's synthesizer jams, just to make sure everyone else knows what's up.

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