Jon Schnaars's blog

The following sonnet, as we talked about on this week's podcast, was sent to the BGH main contact email by a longtime listener and friend of the show. Clearly, we have some erudite listeners.

Without any further ado, here's a poem by Changwa Steve.

How Schnaars Saved the Internet: An Ode to Fancy Jon

The internet's a sticky Stygian lair
Where seed through fierce grips is vainly spilt
While fleshy buttocks squirm in padded chairs
And crusty gymsocks mop away the guilt

And selfsame wankers turn with claws befouled
To forums where they air their fetid brains

I've been planning on rolling out the unofficial BGH Book Club for a while, so what better day to kick things off than Halloween.

Most of us have gotten pretty comfortable with the video game to movie adaptation. Sure, there's still some hurdles to overcome, but by and large directors are starting to figure out how to turn small-screen button-mashing into cinema that is at least watchable if not good. So while it seems that "Max Payne," the most recent in the long line of video game film adaptations, may not be particularly good, it was good enough to take home the top spot at the box office this weekend with a comfortable margin.

'Tis the season. For horror, that is. With All Hallows Eve a scant three weeks away, ghosts and ghouls are starting to take their place in the spotlight of popular culture. Horror is also creeping back into the theater, starting this week with "Quarantine." And, with a second place finish, the first-person zombie flick marked a successful return to the box office for horror.

I'm going to keep it short and sweet this weekend. You see, "Beverly Hills Chihuahua" won the weekend, and quite handily. And that's the kind of thing that makes me feel sad. Sad in my soul.

The box office flirted with a $100 million total again this week, but sits (as of Sunday night) at $98. Maybe not other-worldly, but it's good enough for the 3rd highest total for the 39th weekend of the year. Leading the way was "Eagle Eye," the second film from DJ "Disturbia" Caruso. If you haven't heard of this one, you clearly haven't been exposed to any form of media in the last three weeks.

It wasn't magic at the box office reminiscent of last weekend, but it wasn't a total disaster either. With a first place finish from the Samuel L. Jackson vehicle "Lakeview Terrace," theaters took in just under $90 million total; not bad for the midst of one of the worst financial crises the economy has ever faced.

A couple of weeks back, FOBGH (that's friend of BGH) Prisoner Abel emailed me about a film series that was going to be showing at the Brooklyn Academy of Music (aka BAM). Now, if that sounds reprehensibly fancy, well that's because it is; but Abel and I are New Yorkers, and we like our culture extra fancy. BAM though, isn't just a snooty bastion of dance and theater, they also show current cinema (typically of the more independent variety) as well as film series, as I mentioned above.

I spent some time two weeks ago talking about the late summer swoon we've seen this year at the box office. And then, only a week later, we hit a notable nadir. Well, apparently all that swooning may have been part of some sort of cathartic cleansing ritual because this week change came to the box office.

$51 million dollars.

That's it. There's the box office report. That's how much the top 12 films combined made this week. Nine films have made more than that in their opening weekend this year.