Horror Headlines 8/13/08

"Antichrist" is a "dark psychological thriller" about a couple who loses a baby and as a result moves into an isolated cabin in the woods. Casting news today as we find out that Charlotte Gainsbourg and Willem Defoe will be playing the couple in the film. I guess you're going to have to suspend your disbelief that anyone could tolerate being around Defoe's face long enough to marry him, but hey this is horror we're talking about so I guess we're already ready to make that leap.

After watching this clip from Frank MIller's "Spirit", I'm more confused as to what I'm supposed to think about this project than ever. Guess we'll find out this Christmas, when the film finally gets released.

Do you live in the Quad Cities of Iowa and Illinois, and have an evil looking kid? Then you should have him/her try out for the "Children of the Corn" remake that's currently being cast for the Scifi channel. More info about the casting session is at the link, and they'll be shooting in September. Of all the random places on earth, I've actually been to the Quad Cities, so I can attest to the fact that they won't have any problem finding freaky looking people. What's going on with you Midwesterners anyways?

Remember when Michelle Pfeiffer and Susan Sarandon were still super hot? If you don't you should check out the film "The Witches of Eastwick", starring those two and Cher, who play witches whose relationships with a playboy (Jack Nicholson) goes wrong when their magic gets in the way. The reason I'm recounting all of this? ABC has ordered a pilot based on the film, to simply be called "Witches of Eastwick". This easily gets the award for today's "most out of left field" story".

Darren Lynn Bousman would really like to direct the next Leprechaun movie, and even has a "great" idea as to where it would go. After "Saw II - IV", and now "Repo: A Genetic Opera", you'd think this guy had done enough to rape our eyes and/or ears... but you'd be wrong.

Not sure how I missed this, but here's the trailer for Ed Sanchez's "Seventh Moon". I would kind of like to have seen more of what's actually taking place in the movie, but this is still pretty sweet.

In Real People News: 

2 million dollars to have a "sorcerer" put a hex on someone for you? Somewhere there's a witch doctor walking around with like 4,000 goats. Lucky bastard.

The only rule in the baby fight club, is that everyone gets a nap afterwards... oh and a wiffleball bat to beat the shit out of your opponent with.

The "Creepshow 2" raft monster is back in Idaho! I recall reporting this story last summer too. Apparently now it's bigger and nastier than ever. Welcome back buddy!

On this day in history: 

1521: After an 80-day siege, Spanish conquistador Hernando Cortés captures Tenochtitlan, capital of the Aztec Empire. When the Spaniards fail to discover Montezuma's treasure, they torture Cuauhtemoc by pouring hot oil over his feet. The emperor responds by asking, "Am I on a bed of roses?" They hang him three years later.

"Bitch Slap" and a "Grindhouse" Rehash

As I lazily surfed the interweb today I happened across a film called "Bitch Slap". This is the first I'm hearing of it. What caught my eye was, aside from the goofy title, the tight poster art. Click to view more pics etc.

Is it possible that this film could successfully pay homage to exploitation genre? I'm sad to say my hopes aren't too high. A good exploitation film seems like a simple formula. I suppose for the most part it is. I also think it's super easy to screw up.

I have a new blog!

Just as a mini-note, I put up a temporary blog on Tumblr to give me a place to post about my professional/cultural musings that don't fit so well here (as if that ever stopped me) until I can really light a fire under my ass to finish my work with Wordpress. If you're the sort of person that wants to get to know me via links and snippits, swing on by Not A Fuggin Web Guru @ marknewell.tumblr.com. Thanks!

Horror Headlines 8/12/08

A look at the trailer for "Underworld 3", starring Rhona Mitra. As long as they recreate some of the pit-fighting in "Doomsday", I'll give this one a chance.

Something sounded fishy about this story the other day but I reported it any ways, serves me right. It turns out that Warner Bro's is definitely not releasing Mike Dougherty's Halloween themed anthology flick "Trick 'r Treat". There is a sweet new poster at the link, but it's not quite enough to quell my disappointment.

What's worse than a remake or a crappy sequel to "Creepshow"? I'll tell you... an internet series based on the film, of an obviously dubious quality. You know who I blame for this? George Romero. That's right. If he wasn't such an inept business man we wouldn't be subjected to useless remakes and sequels to his films every 5 years. Jesus man, show some restraint with that signing pen of yours.

J.J. Abrams to produce action/terror flick centered around an earthquake. I'm not sure when this guy has time to piss, but I'm sure when he does that it's pure liquid gold.

In Real People News: 

Husband and wife are arguing, she asks for a gun so she can kill herself, husband obliges. Now he's being charged for murder. What exactly did he do except give her what she wanted? If there's one thing I've learned in life, it's be careful what you wish for.

Switzerland, apparently bored out of their minds from being neutral all these years, chimes in with today's best story. An artist created a "house sized", inflatable dog poop, which is now wreaking havoc after a wind picked it up and threw it 200 metres. The ensuing crash took out a number of power lines and even damaged a children's home. I had a joke about "shit happens" here but then decided I wouldn't subject you to it.

You've got to admit that this is a pretty good idea. Police in Longmont Colorado are looking for a man who tried to get free porn videos by claiming he was a police officer who needed to check if the performers were under aged. My guess is this guy can't afford a computer, because otherwise this story makes no sense to me whatsoever.

On this day in history: 

30 BC: Cleoptara, Queen of Egypt and former wife to Julius Caesar, commits suicide by means of venomous snakebite to the mammary gland.

Horrorthodoxy

Over the last few years, I have been pretty much universally disappointed with the horror fare making its way across the screens of the American Multiplex. It shouldn’t be surprising to me Most of the iconic horror that I can think of came out of the minds and pockets of smaller visionaries who were forced (by budget) into the arms of invention.

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