Horror Headlines 9/24//08

Tarantino's father stars in horror Western. Thanks to Prisoner Abel with the assist on the correction.

French "Saw V" poster. Considering these are practically the McDonald's of Horror films, I wonder what the French think of the 'Saw' series?

An "American Psycho Musical sounds pretty genius to me. Plus, the book's writer Brett Easton Ellis will be serving as a Consulting Producer, so you know this rendition will be faithful to the material.

Lions Gate has acquired the distribution rights to "Train", the sort-of remake of the 80's Jamie Lee Curtis vehicle "Terror Train". World also comes down that the MPAA has given the film an NC-17 rating. Considering that there's no gratuitous David Copperfield in this version, I can't imagine what that rating could be for.

In Real People News: 

Apparently all of the hot blonds in Finland weren't enough to make them immune from school shootings. Plus, it's obvious by the story that they're not nearly as paranoid as we are, considering the fact that the police actually had the gunman in custody a day before the shootings, and let him go because they couldn't charge him with anything.

Bus stabbing in Canada. Um... maybe you guys should start taking the train... or dog sled maybe? I don't know, however it is you guys get around up there in the Great White North.

Ever wanted to know what happens when someone's asshole is literally stapled shut? Me neither, but now you know exactly what you're threatening your friends with when they won't stop dropping ass on your couch.

The problem with laying down in the street to form a human road block is this... you're made of flesh and bones. I know they were high schoolers, but isn't that like Biology 101?

Bloody Birthday... Everytime!!!

When I was about 12, I saw Ed Hunt's "Bloody Birthday" for the first time. The experience was coring. Of course there have been other films that have tackled evil kids, but none of them has ever done for me, or to me what "Bloody Birthday" does.


Tokyo Gore Police

When I first heard of "The Machine Girl" I was open to the idea. Revenge, severed limbs, Asian school girls, whats not to love? Then I saw the trailer and it totally turned me off. Sure I knew it would be low budget; I knew it would be over the top. The bright red crayola blood just caused my "this movie is going to be a dumb waste of time" switch to flip. So when I got the chance to see it in theaters, I declined. Apparently I was just too good for something so low brow.

Oh! How I regret it!

How to Kill the Zombie Subgenre

Step 1: Take a bunch of "So You Think You Can Dance?" rejects and dress them in half-assed zombie makeup and costumes.

Step 2: Have them wander around Universal Studios, occasionally breaking into a dance routine to Flo Rider. Don't worry about "zombie-ing" up the moves. This ain't the Thiller video.

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles 2.03

The Mousetrap

Charlie Dixon, Sarah's ex from the past is fleeing town with his wife Michelle. Now known to be connect to the Connors, they've been advised to make themselves scarce. Upon a routine stop for gas and soda, Cromartie arrives at the desert gas station and absconds with Michelle leaving Charlie stranded as he watch his wife disappear into the distance. Not knowing what else to do, Charlie contacts Sarah and pleads for her help.

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