I thought I would continue on Schnaars' video game theme today and post this picture.

That sound you hear? It's my childhood being gently bent over a table and ordered to "not say a word".

Jesus. Why do people do this shit to me?

Also, I can't help but think that this could be some sort of composite sketch of the creepy Argentinian Gnome from a few weeks back. Try that one on for size and let me know how well you sleep tonight.

I feel little to no compadre-ship with my fellow horror critics. I feel like that guy in middle school who is listening to They Might Be Giants while everyone else is enjoying the works of Milli Vanilli. Oh, wait—I was that guy. Yep, it seems no matter how much I try to integrate myself into this niche clique, I’ll always be the odd-man out. I’ll always be the guy who is on the periphery of taste and popularity for those tastes. Girl, you know it’s true!

How about some remake news we can all get behind? This time the classic horror property coming in for a touch up isn't a film though, it's a game. In fact, some might call it the horror game. That's right, Splatterhouse is going next-gen, according to EGM, who have put the game's vaguely-Jason-Vorhees-like main character on the cover of their June issue.

The first pic from "Fear Itself" has surfaced. It's from the story called "The Eater", about a rookie cop forced to stay over night with a particularly nasty prisoner. Also of note, the chick in the picture looks like a poor man's Mena Suvari, which is needless to say not very good. "Fear Itself" is an anthology horror series that will run on NBC this summer.

Killer cannibal flick set in Tasmania. Looks pretty cool, but is being reported on mainly because of my lifelong obsession with Tasmania. Don't ask.

Fango is talking "Gingerdead Man 2: Passion of the Crust", and I'm riveted. Apparently you'll see a couple veteran FX guys appear in the film, mainly Greg Nicotero and John Carl Bucheler, as well as the return of Scream Queen Michelle Bauer. And of course, a killer ginger bread man. What more could you ask for?

"The Tale of Two Sisters" remake, crappily retitled to "Unborn" is being release January 30th, 2009.

"Happy Birthday To Me" is supposedly the next movie on the remake block. No other details are available at this time, except for... ugh.

The following is a list of hilarious things about The Lost Boys II: The Tribe" Cover art. 1: It exists 2: The movie isn't going theatrical 3: There is a person named "Tad" in this movie 4: Could Corey Feldman be any smaller? And 5: The way the names are, it looks like Corey Feldman is named Angus Sutherland. Ya, good luck with that comeback of yours.

Video escapes from the NY Comic Con, the exclusive 5 minute preview of Venture Brothers Season 3!

Quite possibly my most anticipated TV show of the season, VB 3 looks to be well worth the wait!