Apocalypse Mixtape IX: You Better Watch Out

Even as the four horsemen draw near and we shift from a money-based economy to one founded on gladiator-style combat for the pleasure of Tina Turner, trying to stop the holiday season is like trying to stop Black Friday shoppers at a Long Island Wal-Mart. If you've still got some last-minute shopping to do for a little one, may we suggest you give them a gift that's both educational and terrifying, Baby's First Mythos. The alphabet, numbers and the elder gods, all in one book?

Gimme Skelter (REVIEW)

“Gimme Skelter” is the story of a band of murderers led by a man claiming to be Charlie Manson’s bastard son Phillip Valentine. They plan to lay siege to the small town of Bannion’s Cross New Mexico (pop. 67) so that Phillip can impress his dear old dad. The story follows both the invaders and Todd, a somewhat shiftless 20 something. Early on Todd’s frustration with his petulant but loving girlfriend Jonda pushes him into the arms (crotch) of Brass, one of Phillip’s acolytes’.

Merry Christmas!

So, it's that time of year! Time for fat men in red suits to break into your houses in the middle of the night! (Yes, I do have a red suit, and yes I will be in your house. I prefer cookies with white chocolate chips.)

Here's hoping everybody has a safe and happy one, and you get all sorts of phat loot!

Horror Headlines: Christmas Eve, 2008

"Judge Dredd" remake? Were this April Fool's Day and not Christmas Eve, I wouldn't be sure what to think about this story. As it is, I'm confused yet oddly intrigued.

New pictures from "Terminator Salvation"... and the Christian Bale man-crush lives to fight another day.

Wes Craven's serial killer opus "25/8" is now being changed to "untitled", presumably because the first title sucked. The story follows a killer who vows to return to his hometown on the 16th anniversary of his death, and what happens when people actually start to die around the infamous date.

Trailer for "His Name Was Jason", the documentary about the "Friday the 13th" series being put out by Anchor Bay. Leave it to a bunch of fans to put together a better documentary than Paramount ever could, the company that F13 practically made. Way to drop the ball, guys.

Here's the official story of "The Thing" prequel... it will follow the Norweigan team that's found dead at the beginning of Carpenter's 1982 original. How do we feel about this story people?

In Real People News: 

I KNEW IT! Plastic surgeon gets cracked down on because he's powering his car with fat sucked out of patients. I've been saying this is the way to go for years. It's the most widely available fuel in America!

We can file this in the "things I didn't think I would ever have to warn you about" category. It's not a good idea to use a blowtorch to get rid of ice on your house. Can we see where this is going?

This couple has been on vacation at three major world cities the very moment they were attacked by terrorists. In other words, if you see these people on the Subway... BAIL.

On this day in history: 

1997: It is revealed that actor Woody Allen (age 62) was married to his adopted daughter Soon-Yi Previn (age 27) in Venice, Italy the day prior. She becomes her own stepmother, and Woody his own son in law.

The Nuclear Edge--Dangerous Headbanging?

So I happened across this article the other day, which describes how headbanging might raise the risk of brain injury.

I'm forced to ask, wasn't that kind of the point?

Plus, the picture in the article singles out Iron Maiden fans, which to me is clear discrimination. Plus, it's a blatant false portrayal of character, as nearly the only actual band mentioned in the print of the article is Motley Crue. I don't know anyone who listens to both "Powerslave," and "Dr. Feelgood."

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