Horror Headlines: Tuesday December 23rd, 2008

Hey folks, since I'm on vacation I got kind of caught up yesterday and ended up not posting horror news in the morning. I did however put up a pretty substantial news post last night, in case you missed it. As for tomorrow (Christmas Eve), it will depend on how much news is actually happening, but the tentative plan is to post then as well. In the meantime, on with the show!

Who is Scott Hoffman and what did he do to get mentioned here? A) He's a douche. B) He gave 5 glowing quotes about "The Spirit" just to get his quote-whoring website some publicity. Oh shit, I guess it worked.

The director of the indie film "Zombie Honeymoon" is in the planning stages of a sequel. What will it be called? Zombie Pre-nup? Zombie Divorce? Only time will tell.

900 theaters. Those are the odds of you seeing "My Bloody Valentine 3D", in actual 3D on a digital screen. The total number of theaters is 1,600, with 900 of those being the "RealD" ready screens. Got one near you? I suggest you start camping out now for the January 16th release date.

Attention web reporters... Every time Rob Zombie farts it does NOT constitute news on "Halloween 2". Now if he farts and burps at the same time, that's pretty amazing and possibly fatal... but it's still not news. Please take note.

In Real People News: 

This elaborate system of using fake license plates to get speeding tickets issued to your enemies is actually pretty genius. Definitely filing that in the "evil revenge plan" vault.

Mice may be to blame for a fire that killed over 1,000 cats. I can't decide if I'm terrified by this, or if it just really makes me want to play Mouse Trap.

Speaking of obscure references, it looks like a "foot massager" may be responsible for killing several people who tried to use it on their heads and necks in Japan. Hey, it's their fault for not running away as soon as they heard the AC/DC song "Who Made Who" come blasting over their stereo.

Scientists have invented a microchip that can rev up a woman's sex drive if implanted in the brain. Now all you need is some chloroform and a scalpel.

On this day in history: 

1888: After an argument with fellow painter Paul Gauguin, Vincent van Gogh takes a razor and removes a portion of his left ear. Their quarrel regarded the prostitutes in Arles who seemed to prefer Gauguin over Van Gogh; the painter delivered his ear to one Rachel, who preferred Van Gogh. She fainted.

The Black Hole (1978)

I caught the last half of Disney's "The Black Hole" while hiding under a blanket on the couch yesterday. According to Casey, were I not one of those "damn kids these days", I would have seen this when I was younger.

I didn't though, and what I saw of it yesterday had me really fascinated. It's an FX heavy, quirky little scifi film that is apparently very well known. The best part of the whole thing are the two wacky little robots, who for some reason have googly eyes. Picture evidence of this below:

Gremlins Take on The Classics

Remember the time I said that Thundercats trailer was the best fan made thing I've ever seen? Ya, I lied. This video is, which features Gremlins inserting themselves into a handful of classic films. I'm completely blown away by this.

In all fairness, the guy who did this is a special FX artist... but still, this thing really raises the bar. Any internet video that can get me to watch for 7 full minutes must really be something.

Fan Trailer for Hypothetical Thundercats!

This video = Officially the greatest thing I've ever seen.

This is what happens when some fans of the 80's cartoon "Thundercats", take endless hours of free time and combine it with their shockingly impressive special effects prowess to make a fan trailer. The kicker is that they cast Brad Pitt, Vin Diesel and Hugh Jackman, and used scenes from their respective films (with digital manipulation) to accurately depict them as Thundercats. That's all I'm going to say... you must watch this, now.

Horror Headlines: Monday December 22nd, 2008

Great news... now that Rob Zombie is on to making "Halloween 2" instead of "Tyranosaurus Rex", he's still sending out bullshit pieces of "concept art". I am so excited I can hardly contain myself.

James Cameron to direct "Forbidden Planet" remake? I figured he'd rest on his laurels after the inevitable success of "Avatar", the massively epic scifi film he's currently working on. Also at the link, IESB has scored a whole mess of details on the project.

Paul Anderson talks Castlevania feature film. The gist? There will be a whip, it will focus on the Belmont clan taking on Dracula, it will be set mostly in a castle, and the looming SAG strike could put a crimp in the whole plan. As much of a trainwreck as I think this has the potential to be, I'm still too much of a Castelvania fanboy not to want to see it happen so, expect more news as it comes in.

On September 18th, 2009, we'll all be able to check out "Jennifer's Body", starring Megan Fox and written/directed by "Juno" scribe Diablo Cody. The film is about Fox (a cheerleader), becoming possessed by a demon that causes her to start picking off the town's men one by one. She's finally killed by her friend, who must then escape from jail and track down the satanic rock band who caused all the ruckus in the first place. Whew... that's a mouthful. It will greatly depend on the tone taken, but I think this project has a lot of potential. As long as no one says "honest to blog" and Rainn Wilson doesn't show up anywhere, I'll be a happy camper.

Platinum Dunes will not be remaking "Rosemary's Baby", despite the fact that it was announced last year. The reason stated is that the producers felt that they could not bring anything new or relevant to the story. That may be the sanest thing to ever come out of a company run by Michael Bay. Also in the story, they're still working on a script for "The Birds" remake, but are similarly waiting to see if they can do it right before greenlighting the project 100%.

In Real People News: 

Plane attempts to land in cow pasture, hits a cow, and both parties are only slightly worse for wear. Amazing.

Woman arrested for selling pierced "Gothic Kittens". So, having a pierced ear makes them gothic? Nevermind that though, the real question is how did she get them to smoke ciagrettes and sway side to side to music?

Man gets stabbed in the face with a broken bottle at a club, the contents of his eye spill all over the dancefloor. Yes, I said "the contents of his eye". Thank God I was late with the news today, otherwise I'd be digging into my eggs right about now.

Woman has over 200 orgasms a day, as a result of pretty much any kind of external stimulus. No matter what happens to her in the next three days, It's a pretty safe bet she's going to have a pretty fantastic Christmas.

On this day in history: 

2001: Richard Reid attempts to blow up an American Airlines transatlantic flight by igniting a plastic explosive concealed in his shoe.

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