My Zombie Pin-up

It's a new year and that means it's time for a new calendar. Instead of going for the fluffy kitten calendar from that kiosk in the mall for the fourth year in a row, might I suggest something a little different, something like cheesecake shots of leggy, half-naked, decomposing zombie girls. Yes, it exists.

Horror Headlines: Thursday January 15th, 2009

This is what we in the industry call a "slow news day" folks. Feel free to post any other stories you happen to have found in the comments.

Some nice, hi-res pics from "Friday the 13th", which hits theaters February 13th, 2009.

So it's kind of hard to tell from this story, but it kind of sounds like Linda Hamilton will be returning for "Terminator Salvation", at least in voice form. I don't speak fluent "douche" so it's kind of hard to determine what McG's trying to say here.

In Real People News: 

This story is partly significant because it's another incident of a dentist fondling a woman's breasts, which I find happens far too often for me to ever trust a dentist again. It's also interesting because when one woman wrote a letter to complain, he sent her a card with a cartoon rabbit on it that just said "Oops". Genius my friend... sounds like a foolproof plan to me.

Who knew that porta-potties are so flammable? That will make you think twice before lighting up in one.

An Alaska lottery designed to help sexual abuse victims was won by a convicted sex offender. Can't they do anything right up there? Must be all the fumes coming over from Russia.

5 Reasons Why I AM Going to See MBV3D

I happened to mention to a few people at work this evening that I planned on seeing "My Bloody Valentine 3D" opening weekend. They were shocked. Truly. Like, mouths agape, starring at me blankly. Shocked. Naturally, this made me pause and ponder. Why am I going to see this?

5. I have never seen a 3D film. Nope. Never. I have never experienced 3D in my ever lengthening time on this earth.

4. Tom Atkins! He could be the only reason at all really. I <3 Tom.

Box Office Boner - The Wrestler

Although it has been many months since my last Box Office Boner post, Schnaars inspired me to resurrect my semi (not at all) regular feature on "non genre" films that catch my eye. My original criteria for making the post was some degree of box office success, but I decided to break tradition this time around for the sake of getting some words in about Darren Aronofsky's "The Wrestler," starring Mickey Rourke. Besides, Rourke won a Golden Globe for his role, so it sort of counts.

The Wrestler

Horror Hodge Podge

Five consecutive days I have come to this terminal to try and write something worth reading and five times I have concluded the session with about 3 paragraphs of slow-spun ejectamenta. Maybe it’s the paste in my lungs, the big goofy fucking dog in my house that won’t sleep, or the fact my wife poisoned me by putting a Michael Landon Jr. film on our Netflix queue. Anyway, I have decided that it’s time for a hodge podge of the week that has been Jan7-Jan 14th. Better for me that it is not a calendar week… I don’t go to school, nor do I get weekends off with any reliable regularity.

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