Album Review: Blood Ceremony - "The Eldritch Dark"

During this recent revival of traditional metal, it has become commonplace that any band with blues roots and an analog mentality gets slapped with the label “sounds like Black Sabbath.” While that speaks volumes about the enormity of Black Sabbath’s legacy, it’s also an easy, marketable out for any band that rocks at less than 200 bpm.

Horror Headlines: Monday May 13th, 2013

Red Sea Media has made the smart move of picking up the distribution right to "Squirrels", a new film about a small town being terrorized by the fuzzy little nut munchers. Produced by the same folks that brought you "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" there's no word on a cast yet but I think if Tiffany is free she's a sure fire lock to play the leading lady. Keep your fingers crossed.

Mother of god. Warner Bros has picked up the rights to Ryan Gosling's directorial debut titled "How To Catch a Monster". Need more? Christina Hendricks has signed on as the leading lady for the film about a mother whose son discovers a secret road leading to the underworld. I swear to god my keyboard just burst into flames from all this sex.

Salma Hayek is confirmed to be starring in "Everly", a new film from the one and only Joe Lynch. The film is about a woman who must fight her way through a horde of assassins sent by her mob boss ex. What's the interesting point here is that the entire film will be shot in one room which now that I think of it makes me think this entire thing was just one big creepy way for Joe Lynch to be able to lock himself in a room with Selma Hayek for a month.

Joe Dante is teaming up with Simon Pegg for a big screen adaptation of "Casting the Runes" by M.R. James. The story follows a blogger who's investigating the suicide of a celebrity and the self help guru connected to the death. The story was originally written close to 100 years ago which is amazing because they didn't even have the internet back then so how the hell would anyone know what a blogger is? This James guy must have had ESPN or some crap.

In Real People News: 

A 31 year old sex ed teacher in Texas is accused of having sex with two 13 year old students. Seems kind of obvious really.

A Phoenix woman is under arrest after she killed a man by running him over with her car and then called 911 to report the damage. Yes she was drunk and yes her mug shot is amazing.

World War Z - The Next Big Movie Flop?

Most anyone who's read Max Brooks' 2006 apocalyptic novel "World War Z" has been excited since hearing that it's being adapted for the big screen. Despite a complete oversaturation of Zombies in the last few years (I'll still take that over sparkling Vampires), fans seemed relieved to hear the movie would stay pure as possible to the book, was supported by an all-star cast and a hefty Hollywood budget and would be produced by none-other than the movie's leading character, Brad Pitt. However one thing we all know is that any movie can fail - and if the rumors are true, World War Z might be a full on, 50 foot free-fall belly flop onto wet pavement.

According to the project's screenwriter, Damon Lindelof in the June Issue of Vanity Fair, the project has hit disastrous proportions, including being over-budget by 50 million, troubles with inexperienced director Marc Forester, last minute re-writes, and incoherent storylines. We're not just talking minor script changes either - it was realized after filming was finished, that the entire 40 minute ending was "abrupt and incoherent".

Horror By the Sub-Genres: SURGICAL/MEDICAL HORROR

Though the study and practice of medicine has been around since the beginnings of human civilization, it is only within the past 150 years that the medical field has made its most groundbreaking and world-changing discoveries and advancements. We’ve learned what germs are, what they do, and how to destroy them; we’ve discovered DNA sequencing and the secrets of genetic coding; and we’ve advanced the act of surgery, once a desperate battlefield choice likely to kill the patient, to an outpatient procedure that people can volunteer for when they don’t like the shape of their noses.

Album Review: Starkill - "Fires of Life"

It’s rare to hear of an orchestral-arranged melodic death metal coming from the United States. It’s even rarer to conceive of that band coming from a place like Chicago, which is barely even thought of in heavy metal, much less this style of heavy metal. Yet, armed and dangerous with a ten track debut record “Fires of Life” is Starkill, Chicagoland’s newest heavy metal band, determined to take what is commonly thought of as a European sound and make it their own.

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