Horror Headlines 3/4/08

It's being reported that Platinum Dunes is now going to be remaking "Rosemary's Baby", the 1968 film starring Mia Farrow. These guys won't stop until they've remade EVERYTHING. I'm still crossing my fingers for the "Ghoulies Go To College" redux.

FOX is prepping a pilot titled "Inseparable", which is being described as modern day Jekyl and Hyde story. And this time they're not even waiting until their new show about the supernatural lawyer gets cancelled. I'm so proud!

The Crispin Glover vehicle (that's an odd sentence) "I Scream Man", about (you guessed it) an ice cream man slasher, has been delayed for both "financial and legal" reasons. Glover himself remains enthusiastic, but it's not looking good for this flick at the moment.

Alison Lohman has officially filled Ellen Paige's shoes as the lead in Sam Raimi's "Drag Me To Hell". So, those worried about the production filling the "jail bait" quotient in Paige's absence can rest easy.

NBC has released a full list of directors and synopses for their summer fright fest "FEAR Itself", which you'll recall is the is the new incarnation of Showtime's "Masters of Horror". So, are we excited yet?

Frank Henenlotter's next film, "Bad Biology", has been reviewed very positively. If you're in the mood for a trip, hit up Ebay and try
and find a copy of "Brain Damage". It's one of the strangest and most
disgusting films I've ever seen... so if "Biology" is anything like that
(or "Basketcase" for that matter) I'm sure it will kick ass.

In another attempt to make me love him even more, Uwe Boll has decided to release his offensive gem "Postal" in theaters opposite "Indiana Jones". The announcing statement comes complete with broken English smack talk against Spielberg... Priceless!

In Real People News: 

Today in the "Final Destination" department... a father of two died recently while cooking for his children, after the reactionary jerk from burning his hand caused him to stab himself in the heart with a kitchen knife. I wasn't there, but I've got money that "Rocky Mountain High" was playing in the background. Care to wager?

If you're so angry, that you can't even make it to your Anger Management class without punching a woman in the face, it may be time to re-evaluate your life. Just saying.

On this day in history: 

1966: Lennon claims that The Beatles are "more popular than Jesus", and that "Christianity will... vanish and shrink".

Wrestlemaniac (REVIEW)

Sweet Dios, do I love a Lucha Libre movie.

And not in the hipster, Hot Topic, I saw Nacho Libre and then bought a t-shirt teenage dumb-fuck way, but in the honest-to-God I have watched 70s Santo movies with no subtitles that I bought at a Mexican hole-in-the-wall grocery store at 6 A.M. way. So yes, to answer what you’re thinking, I do think I am better.

Horror Headlines 3/3/08

Fangoria has chatted with Kevin Tenney and discovered, yes, there will be a "version" of the famous "lipstick" scene in his just announced "Night of the Demons" remake. Now that we have that out of the way, he also goes on to gush about how he plans to, "remain true to its spirit—just more nasty, sexual and extreme". Sounds good to me!

2 new pics from "My Name is Bruce" for you this morning. Oh, and a debunked rumor about Bruce Campbell dying. Despite the picture of him as an angel at the link, he's doing just fine, people. Although if he were to go to heaven, I would expect him to end up with a hot chick.

Ellen Paige ("Juno") has unfortunately had to pull out of Sam Raimi's upcoming horror film "Drag me to Hell", due to
conflicts with other upcoming projects. I'm sure there is some sort of teen pregnancy "pull out" joke here, but it's Monday morning so, sorry folks.

"Doomsday" shooting game? That may be just what the doctor ordered. The game has been posted on the official site, click to the link to play!

Stephen King and John Mellencamp are teaming up to bring a musical to the stage. I think if I try to explain this my head will explode, so you can find a synopsis at the link.

In Real People News: 

Just another reason this morning not to send back food in a restaurant... facial hair in your steak. Are there really people out there who still don't know this?

A UK man has been committed after it was discovered that he was taking care of his 80 year old parents, both dead, as if they were living. Police found the decaying bodies sitting on the couch, and his mother was even listening to a Walkman. Based on
this evidence, I'm going to go out on a limb and say they've been dead since 1989. Seriously, a Walkman?

On this day in history: 

1934: John Dillinger escapes from an escape-proof jail in Crown Point Indiana, using a wooden pistol he carved himself. It's his second escape.

The Burning!

How could this not be in anyone's list of top 5 slashers?

Horror Headlines 2/29/08

The "My Bloody Valentine" remake will be in 3-D. This officially makes 09 the year for 3-D horror, with Alexandre Aja's "Pihrana" and "Final Destination 4" also using the new eye-popping digital 3-D technology. Also of note, "Valentine" has been bumped UP from it's Friday the 13th in Feb 09 release date, to January 23rd 09.

The makers of "Untraceable" (highly unfavorable review HERE) have been kicked off of Facebook. Apparently they had started a "kill with me" page (mimicking the film) to promote the European release of the film, in which the more friends signed up, the more of a torture sequence they were allowed to view. There's a little more to the story, but that's the basic gist. If only they had put that much thought into the actual film, maybe they wouldn't have to do stuff like this to create buzz for their film.

Darren Lynn Bousman, director of Saw 2-4, has joined the director lineup of NBC's horror anthology series "Fear Itself", due this summer. It should be interesting what kind of horror Bousman brings us, considering being on television should limit how much "SAW-like" stuff he can get away with.

Clips from Donkeypunch! I don't even know what to make of this film, I just like to type the name. So, Donkeypunch!

Well, it's official New Line Cinema is dead. This has been in the works for a while. Recently, they let go Robert Shaye, who had been president FOREVER and is considered by many to be the Godfather of the "Nightmare on Elm St." series. The ouster is reported to be a result of a series of bad decisions, including wasting a ton of money on his directorial debut "The Last Mimzy". Now that it's been absorbed, it should be interesting to see what comes of both the "Nightmare" and "Friday the 13th" franchises, both of which are currently owned by New Line (not to mention TCM). The actual "New Line" label will stay in tact, but all operations seem to have been swallowed by WB. We'll keep our eyes on the trends as they unfold.

The British continue their woefully antiquated attempt to censor what their public is allowed to view today, by outright banning Nick Palumbo's "Murder Set Pieces" (Review). I'm assuming the version they saw is not the butchered Lions Gate release that Casey did, and I do hear the film is pretty disturbing. Ah well... strike one for censorship I guess.

In Real People News: 

Two children in Australia, ages 5 and 7, watched helplessly recently as their 15 foot pet python devoured their pet dog... WHOLE. The worst part is? Knowing the way a snake's digestive system works, that dog must have just sat in the snake's stomach for at least 24 hours or so. Any guesses as to the specific ways this will screw these children up?

Of all the types of people that could break into your house, I suppose the "I just want to use your computer to look at porn" guy is the least threatening... if not the least creepiest.

On this day in history: 

1692:Sarah Good & Tituba, an Indian servant, was accused of witchcraft in Salem.

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