Sick Nurses (REVIEW)

You take seven hot Thai nurses, put them in an oddly deserted hospital where a girl-on-girl lingerie tickle-fight seems more likely to break out than the Norovirus, add in an incomprehensible plot involving body harvesting, vengeful ghosts, and a male-to-female transsexual and what do you have? A surprisingly decent little Asian exploitation film, it turns out.

Man-whore Dr. Tar has a harem of sexy nurses and a surefire money-making scheme.

Step 1: Obtain dead body

Step 2: Pack with dry ice in trunk of car

Step 3: ???????

Step 4: Profit!

Horror Headlines 4/9/08

Larry Fessenden ("Wendigo", "The Last Winter") is replacing John Carpenter on the episode of "Fear Itself" titled "Skin and Bones". No word on why Carpenter has dropped out, but I'm gonna venture a guess it might have something to do with the train wreck involved in moving a previously R-rated horror anthology to watered down network TV. That, of course, is all speculation on my part.

"Midnight Train" (whose middle name was formerly "Meat"), the latest Clive Barker adaptation, is going straight to DVD. We announced earlier in the week that it had it's name changed and date shifted, and now it seems like the company, "Maple Pictures", has decided to go straight to DVD shelves. Bummer for Barker fans, I guess.

I caught this flick on the Sci-fi channel one day called "Rest Stop". It was like... too good to actually be on the Sci-fi channel, yet not good enough to actually warrant me watching the entire thing. Well, now they've made a sequel titled "Rest Stop 2: Don't Look Back", and here's the trailer. Yup, it looks just about the same. And it gets a Blu-Ray release? Really?

"Easter Bunny, Kill! Kill!" is the latest joint from TROMA vet Trent Haaga and his buddy Chad Ferrin. You may remember the two teamed up a few years back for "The Ghouls". Well, now they're back on the indie train and this time they're trying something different, a pretty radical online distribution method. I can't say if the film will be any good or not, but we're always interested in people using the internet for new and exciting things. So, check the short interview at Fango's site to find out what they're up to.

"Hack/Slash" finally has a writer and his name is Justin Marks. He joins friend of the site Todd Lincoln (director), to form the creative team behind the comic-book adaptation about a sexy chick who hunts slasher killers. Not to state the obvious here but, sign me up!

Finally, some clips from "Zombie Strippers" to um... sink your teeth into? The film stars Robert Englund and Jenna Jameson (what's left of her), and will get a very limited theatrical release April 18th.

In Real People News: 

Mr. T has brought a boy out of a coma. And for those keeping score at home, that's two Mr. T stories in as many days.

Want a good laugh this morning? You can always check out these leaked Scientology bibles that Wikileaks released recently. And although they're (natch) being sued, they've vowed to leave the information online.

And since I love reporting stories about my current home state. Eight teenage girls in Lakeland, Florida have been arrested for beating another teen just so they could post it on Youtube. As despicable as this story is, I've got to say that I'm pretty fascinated with the increasingly technological skills that functionally retarded people are acquiring these days. I guess those "Windows Wizard" DVD's really do work.

On this day in history: 

1241: Mongols collect nine bags of ears after a battle with Henry, Duke of Poland, at Liegnitz. A feigned retreat separated the 500 Teutonic Knights from their infantry, and the Mongols slaughtered the entire infantry.

Shia LaBeouf Injures Crotch!

Unfortunately, it had nothing to do with my foot.

From MTV News:

“I pulled a rotator cuff in my hip,” Shia LaBeouf said, gesturing to his waist. “It’s the only time in my career I’ve ever been injured. What happened was, because the injury got worse and worse as the movie went on, I pulled my groin also. [The groin] is not a good thing to have anything happen to.”

Stop Uwe Boll!

Uwe Boll, king of German tax loopholes and director of nigh unwatchable film versions of videogames, in a recent interview with said that he would stop making movies if one million people signed a petition that's been circulating online. I think you all know what to do.

Here's the link to the petition.

April Fool's Day (REVIEW)

Two rich southern siblings throw a ‘Debutante Ball’ for a fellow socialite and friend. Instead of being a straight up honor to said friend, the siblings are throwing the party as an excuse to pull the ultimate April fool’s prank on another local socialite, ‘Milan’. All’s well and good as far as the prank plan goes until Milan winds up dead. Cut to one year later; the siblings Desiree and Blaine receive a mysterious invitation that states ‘meet me at Milan’s grave.

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