Monkey Dust

When I was a kid my entire knowledge of British tv consisted of Monty Python, Benny Hill, and everything else- the weird stuff they showed on PBS that looked like it was filmed on VHS. These days, British tv has gained some ground with Americans with the success of Spaced, The Office and Doctor Who as well as BBC America and other channels rebroadcasting shows from the UK. My girlfriend is British, and I work with a bunch of Brits for a British organization so I've had the chance to find out about a lot of UK tv that I'd never heard of.

Real Mario? More like real child molestor

I thought I would continue on Schnaars' video game theme today and post this picture.

That sound you hear? It's my childhood being gently bent over a table and ordered to "not say a word".

Jesus. Why do people do this shit to me?

Also, I can't help but think that this could be some sort of composite sketch of the creepy Argentinian Gnome from a few weeks back. Try that one on for size and let me know how well you sleep tonight.

Rethinking the new Day of the Dead(s)

I feel little to no compadre-ship with my fellow horror critics. I feel like that guy in middle school who is listening to They Might Be Giants while everyone else is enjoying the works of Milli Vanilli. Oh, wait—I was that guy. Yep, it seems no matter how much I try to integrate myself into this niche clique, I’ll always be the odd-man out. I’ll always be the guy who is on the periphery of taste and popularity for those tastes. Girl, you know it’s true!

The Mask is Back for Some Splatter

How about some remake news we can all get behind? This time the classic horror property coming in for a touch up isn't a film though, it's a game. In fact, some might call it the horror game. That's right, Splatterhouse is going next-gen, according to EGM, who have put the game's vaguely-Jason-Vorhees-like main character on the cover of their June issue.

Horror Headlines 3/23/08

The first pic from "Fear Itself" has surfaced. It's from the story called "The Eater", about a rookie cop forced to stay over night with a particularly nasty prisoner. Also of note, the chick in the picture looks like a poor man's Mena Suvari, which is needless to say not very good. "Fear Itself" is an anthology horror series that will run on NBC this summer.

Killer cannibal flick set in Tasmania. Looks pretty cool, but is being reported on mainly because of my lifelong obsession with Tasmania. Don't ask.

Fango is talking "Gingerdead Man 2: Passion of the Crust", and I'm riveted. Apparently you'll see a couple veteran FX guys appear in the film, mainly Greg Nicotero and John Carl Bucheler, as well as the return of Scream Queen Michelle Bauer. And of course, a killer ginger bread man. What more could you ask for?

"The Tale of Two Sisters" remake, crappily retitled to "Unborn" is being release January 30th, 2009.

"Happy Birthday To Me" is supposedly the next movie on the remake block. No other details are available at this time, except for... ugh.

The following is a list of hilarious things about The Lost Boys II: The Tribe" Cover art. 1: It exists 2: The movie isn't going theatrical 3: There is a person named "Tad" in this movie 4: Could Corey Feldman be any smaller? And 5: The way the names are, it looks like Corey Feldman is named Angus Sutherland. Ya, good luck with that comeback of yours.

In Real People News: 

Asshole with road rage accidentally shoots himself in the stomach. It's stories like these that keep me getting up every morning.

I'm sure there are lots of tests they run on you after you hit your head on something at a construction site... rectal exams shouldn't be one of them. Apparently at this hospital, "No" means "Yes".

On this day in history: 

1969: Sirhan Sirhan sentenced to death for assassinating Robert Kennedy.

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