Sorority Babes in the Slime Bowl O Rama (REVIEW)

(This review originally posted on 5/2/04)

"Sorority Babes" starts out like any self respecting teen sex comedy of the era, with 3 hapless (and horny) college kids who decide they're going to get some action via peeping in on a sorority initiation. This isn't any old initiation though, because this one involves Brinke Stevens and Michelle Bauer wearing cut-off t-shirts and panties and being spanked... hard.

Horror Headlines 5/22/08

Today marks the release of "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull". And, if you live near one of the 4 theaters it's playing in, you can also check out Uwe Boll's "Postal". If you check out either one, feel free to drop by this post and comment to tell us what you thought!

Dimension Films has picked up the rights to remake the Thai horror film "13 Games of Death". Sort of interesting synopsis at the link, with the kicker being that it doesn't seem to involve ghosts. Twist!

Wim Wenders is going to be directing a full on horror picture called "Miso Soup". The pic, starring Willem Dafoe, is about a young Japanese man (Kenji) who guides Americans through the seedy parts of Tokyo nightlife in exchange for money. That is until he runs into Frank, a psychopath that Kenji is afraid is pulling off brutal murders. A presumably "Hitcher-eseque" game ensues. The project sounds cool, although I have to take exception to Wenders' assertion that "Lots of people have used great thrillers to transport political messages but the horror film is rarely used to transport anything but fear." I'm pretty sure we prove that wrong on our podcast every week. Just saying.

Is it possible that our fears about "Fear Itself" being neutered on NBC this summer may be premature? Possibly, but given the track record of the networks and censorship, I won't be holding my breath.

Melissa Joan Hart set to star in a horror flick called "Nine Dead". The film is about a group of strangers who are put in a room and told that one of them will die every 10 minutes until they figure out how they're connected. Kind of sounds like every "Saw" film to me, but the possibility of seeing Clarissa's boobs is too strong for me to ignore this one.

In Real People News: 

If you're seeking to compile a list of people who should be removed from society, I nominate parents who start fights at Chuck E Cheese's to go straight to the top of the list. Really people, really?

Hey, if you're going to kill yourself, there's nothing I can do about it. That said, do everyone a favor and try not to do it by swallowing a poisonous chemical, that when vomited out will make 54 people at the hospital fall ill. The dude worked on a farm, you mean to tell me he didn't have a gun?

Woman awakens after being dead so long that rigor mortis had set in. And since she's from West Virginia, she's chalking it up to God's handiwork. I'm going to go out on a limb and assume this is the same god that told her that Barack Obama is a secret Nazi/Muslim. Ya, that all sounds reasonable to me.

On this day in history: 

1934: A group of FBI agents and police officers from two states ambush Bonnie and Clyde on a highway near Gibsland, Louisiana. The men open fire as the bank robbers drive past the concealed posse, unloading hundreds of rounds into the car.

Horror Headlines 5/22/08

Midnight Meat Train has had it's release date moved UP, from August 1st to July 11th of this year. That takes it out of contention with "Mummy 3" (does anyone really care about that? Really?) and puts it up against "Hellboy II" in it's second week.

The Weinstein's have picked up "Martyrs", a French film, at Cannes with plans for some type of release in the future. The story? Set in the 70's, picture what it would be like if the chick who survived the original "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" grew up with some major issues, and eventually is forced to confront and "exercise" her demons. Sounds pretty interesting to me. The film is released in France on June 18th, no word on when the Weinstein's will drop it on our shores.

Stills from "Silent Hill: Homecoming", the first SH game to launch on the Next-Gen systems. Looks pretty sweet to me.

In Real People News: 

The good news from a recent survey on teens and sex is this, contrary to popular belief, teens aren't engaging in "serial oral sex" as a means to avoid losing their virginity. The bad news is that no matter what the reasons, your daughter is still a slut.

A critic of the Russian government protested the public speech of a Russian Chess legend this week by flying a remote control penis-helicopter onto the stage. You have to check out the video at the link, if only for the moment when the security guard goes all King Kong and swats the penis out of the air. Frigging priceless.

Want to see a photo of a javelin that went through a photographer's leg yesterday? Me neither, but I've already seen it so I'm bringing you down with me.

If you're living in Hong Kong you now have a new mystery meat to worry about, people. Eat up!

On this day in history: 

337: Emperor Constantine dies. Despite this, his embalmed corpse continues to act as head of state, receiving state dignitaries and daily reports from ministers as if nothing had changed. Constantine's macabre leadership continues through winter. A "Weekend at Bernies" joke seems appropriate here, but I can't find one suitable enough for the occasion, sorry.

The Orphanage (REVIEW)

The opening scene of “The Orphanage”shows a girl repeatedly knocking three times on a tree and then looking back over her shoulder. As she does this a few times we gradually see that this is part of game and when she has her back turned some other children are creeping up on her, only to freeze when she turns to look at them. It's an apt beginning for a story where looking for something only keeps the truth hidden, not to mention a clever set-up for an appropriately creepy call-back later in the film.

Teen Wolf Too (Or, How My Soul Died a Little Today)

You ever had one of those days when it seems like nothing is going right? When you're just feeling dejected, laying on the couch with the remote, doing your damdest to pass the time without incident? Well, today was turning out to be one of those days, when I stumbled upon "Teen Wolf Too" on TV.

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