Newest Suicide Girl Not Actually a Human Being

As Eric already knows, I've absolutely never been a fan of Suicide Girls. It's entire foundation is based on "breaking the mold" by offering up an "alternative" (get it!) to Playboy by replacing plastic chicks with pallid ex Hot Topic employees with tattoos, extraneous piercings, and fragile StayPuft marshmallow skin. All points that I would have to make aside from personal preference are pretty well documented in this well known blogpost from a few years ago, The Death of Suicide Girls.

Horror Headlines 4/22/08

The Sarah Connor Chronicles has been renewed for another season by FOX. Given FOX's unorthodox release schedule, it's difficult to say what part of the year the ep's will run (summer, fall, winter etc...) and FOX is declining to comment at the moment.

I don't want to say that any graphic artist is "lazy" persay, but whoever made this poster for "The Strangers" needs to be fired. The previous two posters for this film were fantastic, why mess with it? The R rated home invasion pic gets a wide release May 30th.

Nana Visitor has been cast as Mrs. Voorhees in the "Friday the 13th" remake. In related news, her parents must have hated her to name her that. Visitor is a regular on the Scifi television scene, claiming roles in everything from Star Trek Deep Space Nine, to Dark Angel, to Battlestar Galactica.

Sony Screen Gems is planning on remaking the Linda Blair starrer "Hell Night", and making it PG-13. You may recall that they're the folks behind "the film whose name shall not be spoken" (hint: it rhymes with schmom shnight). When pressed for a reason for the rating, Screen Gems head Clint Culpepper said “You try not to make a movie for an audience that is older than your protagonist.” Now i'm really confused, since "Hell Night" is about college kids. In his defense though, at the time of the interview he was swimming in a pile of money ala Scrooge McDuck, so it was sort of hard to understand what he was saying.

In Real People News: 

If you have a friend who is possibly schizophrenic, it would not be a good idea to play a practical joke on him by falsely telling him his girlfriend has AIDS. I know that may seem cheeky and hilarious, but it's probably going to end in him stabbing her 32 times. Oh, and shenanigans on the author of the article for calling it a "Marijuana fueled attack". If anything that probably stopped him from stabbing her more.

This fat Robert Downey Jr. lookin guy has been arrested for cutting children's pictures out and pasting them onto porno shots. He gets bonus points for actually using paste (they still make that shit?) and getting caught so close to the release of "Iron Man". Thanks for being topical, guy!

8th grader gets charged with a felony for putting Nutter Butters in another student's lunchbox. The twist is that the student is deathly allergic to peanuts and the other kid knew it. He was also expelled. Add sodomy to that list and I think the kid will begin to get what he deserves.

On this day in history: 

1915: The German Army opens 5,700 canisters of chlorine gas upwind of French soldiers at Ypres. It is the first use of poison gas for military purposes.

Oneechanbara: The Movie

Well. Well well well. "Oneechanbara The Movie"

No clue what it's about really, but by that poster? I don't give a shit. I just pre-ordered tickets. Added bonus? If it gets the American remake treatment, there's a strong chance it'll be Sarah Michelle Gellar in that getup. Now that's a win win situation.

My Otaku buddy Tommy helped me to decipher the page. His response?

100% Casey

Cowgirl samurai? Check.

Schoolgirl apprentice? Big check.

Zombies? Oh yeah.

Mortal Kombat Vs DC Universe?!

I've been waiting to post this until it was "confirmed," and thanks to this proof from GamesRadar, Mortal Kombat Vs DC Univerise is in fact happening, and there's a teaser trailer! Now, I can never claim that Sub Zero vs Batman doesn't elicit a major question mark over my head, but I also can't say that this doesn't create a tremendous opportunity.

Episode 24 - "Suspiria" and "Inferno"

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Argento's first two "Three Mothers" films have the crew split down the middle. Shocking.

Purchase this Back Episode $0.99

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