Want Horror in the Theater this Week?

If you're feeling blue because you've already caught "The Happening" and "The Strangers," and you just feel like being truly horrified this weekend, let me suggest the following: Go see "The Love Guru."

Now, I haven't seen this movie, nor would I ever subject myself to that sort of torture, but judging from A. O. Scott's review, Mike Myers may have inadvertently created the most terrifying film of the year. Allow me to quote at length:

Fear Itself 3 Review - Family Man

This is a review of "Fear Itself" Episode #3

Horror Headlines 6/20/08

If you're a horror filmmaker, don't forget that today is the final day to enter the "After Dark" film fest that takes place in Toronto every year. Of course, if you've ever done these types of things before you know that there are so many hoops to jump through, you probably don't have enough time. So really, I'm just here to mock you.

"Blood Car" is (you guessed it) a horror comedy about a car that runs on human blood. With gas at well over 4 dollars a gallon, I wouldn't mind this at all. Lord knows there's plenty dead weight around me that would work pretty good as fuel.

In Real People News: 

Mother tortures son, partially skins him and feeds his flesh to other people. Oh crap, I forgot to tell you to put your bagel down before you read that. Sorry :)

Stillborn baby starts breathing 5 hours after being declared dead, on the way to the cemetery. Wow, two incredibly disgusting stories in a row. I'm on fire today.

Here's a good one. Want some possible proof of life beyond our planet? A researcher in the UK has determined that an unusual crop circle that showed up recently is actually a fractal representation of the first 10 digits of Pi. Either this guy is a genius, or he's just banking on the fact that I'm retarded when it comes to math. Either way, it's pretty intriguing.

On this day in history: 

2010: Houston mommy Andrea Yates drowns her five children, one after another, in the bathtub then notifies the authorities. Yates is later sentenced to life in prison which is overturned. She was on medication for post-partum depression and had recently attempted suicide.

I'm Bo Yo, White Rapper Guy

I started this video out thinking it would be a "Chocolate Rain" type situation... aka all about awkwardness and irony. It quickly turns the corner though into something I would have never expected (read: awesomeness). Check it out for yourself and see what I mean. (might want to keep the volume low if you're at work, there's some NSFW language)

Horror Headlines 6/19/08

News has come out that we will be getting an official release date for Darren Lynn Bousman's Horror Musical "Repo: A Genetic Opera", sometime in the next few weeks. Also, the official trailer will be debuting at the next Comic Con. So, keep your eyes open!

I'm not totally sure why every horror site is reporting on this "Cleavagefield" movie, when it's basically just a straight to cable, soft core porn spoof. It could be because it's a spoof of what may be this year's biggest horror release, or it could be because it has the word "cleavage" in the title. Then again, it could just be because we all copy each other without really giving it a second thought. That said, I just posted a picture at the link so what does that say about me. I think I'm officially done with this one until it proves itself something more than late night cable fodder.

And since today is an incredibly slow news day, I'll post the new internet trailer for "X-files 2" that was posted online yesterday. It's incredibly similar to the first one, so there's not much new stuff for those of us who aren't hardcore fans out there.

In Real People News: 

Those racially sensitive buggers in South Africa have made another great advance for racial relations, by passing a law stating that all Chinese people in South Africa are now to be considered "Black". Wait, then what would Tiger Woods be?

Urban Legends be damned, it turns out that a snake really can climb up out of your toilet and (try) to bite you on the ass. Better watch that cornhole buddy!

Man is rightfully pissed that his alimony checks are going towards his wife's sex change. I don't even need to tell you where this is happening.

"Enraged" puffer fish attacks Cambodian boy's nutsack. I have no idea how you tell if a puffer fish is "enraged" or not, but I suppose him attacking your testicles is probably a good indicator.

On this day in history: 

1999: While taking a walk, horror author Stephen King is struck by a van piloted by a distracted Bryan Smith. King's extensive injuries (broken leg, broken hip, lacerated scalp and collapsed lung) remanded him to a hospital bed for three weeks. Smith would later die in his sleep on Stephen King's birthday.

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