Horror Headlines 5/21/08

Jake Gyllenhaal has officially been cast as the star of the "Prince of Persia" adaptation. Mike Newell will be directing the Jerry Bruckheimer produced flick, that is being produced at Disney (?) Chalk that up as one rumor I NEVER thought was going to pan out. Guess it shows what I know.

Summit Entertainment, the same company behind "Twilight" (ugh), is gearing up to remake "Highlander". Um, okay? I think it's fair to ask if there might be a point somewhere in the future where we've actually remade EVERYTHING. That will presumably be the day they announce the "Howard the Duck" remake. I'll keep my fingers crossed for both of us.

Christian Bale has signed on for 3 "Terminator" films. That sort of gets me hopeful for this new trilogy, and then I remember that McG is directing. Sorry folks, there's no way these will turn out good. Just think "Charlie's Angels" plus robots... I'm assuming you just threw up in your mouth a little so I'll stop.

Check trailer for "Chemical Wedding", written by Iron Maiden front man Bruce Dickinson. The story is a "gothic sci-fi extravaganza set in Trinity College Cambridge, where a scientific experiment goes awry resulting in the resurrection of the Infamous Edwardian Occultist Aliester Crowley". Wow, that's a mouthful.

So, Producer Richard Rubinstein is working on a direct sequel to Romero's "Dawn of the Dead", and Tony Todd is in talks to star. Here's to convoluting this mythos even further. Can't we leave this dead horse alone, people?

Guillermo Del Toro is officially attached (in some way) to the adaptation of the book "Hater", about what happens when people start becoming suddenly and frighteningly violent. Eh, sounds like a few dozen other films that have come out lately. Del Toro will be in New Zealand for the next 4 years filming "The Hobbit", so it sounds like he'll be staying as involved as he can while directing that. After that he still has the H.P. Lovecraft adaptation "At the Mountains of Madness", that I guess we'll be seeing in oh... 2012? Oh... whoops.

In Real People News: 

Scientists have successfully brought a gene from an extinct species back to life, inside of a mouse. The species was the Tasmanian tiger, thought extinct since the 1930's. The head scientist theorizes that some day, with certain advances, this could be used to bring back almost anything, including Mammoths, Neanderthals or even Dinosaurs. I was so fascinated by this yesterday I spent 3 hours reading about extinct species on Wikipedia. Yes, I'm that nerdy.

So a teenager text messages his 34 year old co-worker and solicits a picture of her breasts, and she sends him a picture of Pamela Anderson's rack instead. The ruse apparently worked because they went on to have an affair together, but if you check out the picture at the link, I think you'll agree with me that he was possibly blind... or at least, color blind?

A Wisconsin teen is charged with a felony for posting nude pictures of a 16 year old girl on his Myspace. He had a chance to take them down after being threatened by authorities, and his response was "fuck that, [I'm] keeping them up". Wow, I don't know whether to be impressed by his balls or his stupidity. How about both?

On this day in history: 

1991: At an outdoor political rally, former Indian Prime Minister Rajiv Gandhi and 16 bystanders are blown to bits by a pregnant woman bearing a basket of flowers. The suicide bomber is believed to have been a member of a Hindu terrorist group called the Tamil Tigers.

Boom Blox

Never before has a video game made my wife and I tell each other "YOU FUCKING SUCK I FUCKING HATE YOU" in such loving and bonding ways.

When word was let loose in 2005 that Stephen Spielberg was going to dive into the video game world, the internet was abuzz with speculation. Slated only for the Wii, there was little info available aside from a few cutesy squarish animals.

Horror Headlines 5/20/08

Jim Wynorski, director of such classics as "Chopping Mall", "The Return of Swamp Thing", and "The Bare Wench Project 2", has his next film on the block and it's called "Cleaveagefield". Anything else I say at this point can only ruin the story so, that's it.

John Cusack is set to star in Roland Emerich's "2012", an apocalypse film centering around the Mayan Doomsday Prophecy. No word on if Cusack will stand around in the rain looking all deep and introspective, but one has to assume.

New Pics from Dario Argento's next film "Giallo". Cameras started rolling last week and these are the first pics to surface from the production.

The German poster for "The Happening" doesn't make me any more excited for the film, but incidentally does look pretty cool. Thanks to site reader Marcel for the heads up.

In Real People News: 

As if Bestiality wasn't bad enough, this guy decided to have sex with a Bull Mastiff. That takes a certain type of deranged courage. He's lucky he's still alive... but I'm sure his new buddies in prison will change that real fast.

A British man has been arrested after spraying a mixture of urine, feces and household cleaners onto vegetables at a grocery store. He also made his way around to a library, where he reportedly ruined 706 books. Damn, this guy needs a frigging hobby. Can't someone buy him a knitting knobby or something?

Will Smith opens school of Scientology, therefore legitimizing my totally illegitimate hate for him. So thanks, Will.

A 28 year old, former participant in the Paralympics, has attempted to amputate his own legs by laying them across a set of train tracks. The reason? New rules state that athletes that only have learning disabilities can no longer compete in the games. Well, I guess he showed them, didn't he!

On this day in history: 

1989: Attempting to clear Tiananmen Square of student activists and quell 100 million others protesting throughout the country, China declares martial law in Beijing. Two weeks later, after they continue to loiter in the Square, thousands of students are massacred by government troops.

Apocalypse Mixtape Part V: A New Beginning

In Apocalypse Mixtape we search out songs with themes that fit into the horror genre.

On today's very special episode of Apocalypse Mixtape, instead of single songs, we're going to look at some album-length horror based music.

Album: Fantomas - The Director's Cut
Song: Rosemary's Baby

Tropic Thunder (Black Robert Downey Jr. is My Hero)

After seeing "Iron Man" a few weeks back, this has officially become my "summer of the Robert Downey Jr. man-crush". So you can imagine my excitement when I first saw the trailer for "Tropic Thunder".

The film centers on three movie stars, played by Downey, Ben Stiller and Jack Black, who are filming a war movie in Vietnam when things go hilariously (and offensively) awry, turning the shoot into a life and death situation. Oh, and did I mention that Downey has had surgery to make himself black so he can play the grizzled black Commander? Well, now I have.

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