"Bitch Slap" and a "Grindhouse" Rehash

As I lazily surfed the interweb today I happened across a film called "Bitch Slap". This is the first I'm hearing of it. What caught my eye was, aside from the goofy title, the tight poster art. Click to view more pics etc.

Is it possible that this film could successfully pay homage to exploitation genre? I'm sad to say my hopes aren't too high. A good exploitation film seems like a simple formula. I suppose for the most part it is. I also think it's super easy to screw up.

I have a new blog!

Just as a mini-note, I put up a temporary blog on Tumblr to give me a place to post about my professional/cultural musings that don't fit so well here (as if that ever stopped me) until I can really light a fire under my ass to finish my work with Wordpress. If you're the sort of person that wants to get to know me via links and snippits, swing on by Not A Fuggin Web Guru @ marknewell.tumblr.com. Thanks!

Horror Headlines 8/12/08

A look at the trailer for "Underworld 3", starring Rhona Mitra. As long as they recreate some of the pit-fighting in "Doomsday", I'll give this one a chance.

Something sounded fishy about this story the other day but I reported it any ways, serves me right. It turns out that Warner Bro's is definitely not releasing Mike Dougherty's Halloween themed anthology flick "Trick 'r Treat". There is a sweet new poster at the link, but it's not quite enough to quell my disappointment.

What's worse than a remake or a crappy sequel to "Creepshow"? I'll tell you... an internet series based on the film, of an obviously dubious quality. You know who I blame for this? George Romero. That's right. If he wasn't such an inept business man we wouldn't be subjected to useless remakes and sequels to his films every 5 years. Jesus man, show some restraint with that signing pen of yours.

J.J. Abrams to produce action/terror flick centered around an earthquake. I'm not sure when this guy has time to piss, but I'm sure when he does that it's pure liquid gold.

In Real People News: 

Husband and wife are arguing, she asks for a gun so she can kill herself, husband obliges. Now he's being charged for murder. What exactly did he do except give her what she wanted? If there's one thing I've learned in life, it's be careful what you wish for.

Switzerland, apparently bored out of their minds from being neutral all these years, chimes in with today's best story. An artist created a "house sized", inflatable dog poop, which is now wreaking havoc after a wind picked it up and threw it 200 metres. The ensuing crash took out a number of power lines and even damaged a children's home. I had a joke about "shit happens" here but then decided I wouldn't subject you to it.

You've got to admit that this is a pretty good idea. Police in Longmont Colorado are looking for a man who tried to get free porn videos by claiming he was a police officer who needed to check if the performers were under aged. My guess is this guy can't afford a computer, because otherwise this story makes no sense to me whatsoever.

On this day in history: 

30 BC: Cleoptara, Queen of Egypt and former wife to Julius Caesar, commits suicide by means of venomous snakebite to the mammary gland.


Over the last few years, I have been pretty much universally disappointed with the horror fare making its way across the screens of the American Multiplex. It shouldn’t be surprising to me Most of the iconic horror that I can think of came out of the minds and pockets of smaller visionaries who were forced (by budget) into the arms of invention.

Box Office Special - The Knight Does a Victory Lap

After four weeks (four!), "The Dark Knight" freight train that has demolished the box office looks like it might be creaking to a halt. The measly $26 million that Batman and company took in this weekend, on their way to another first place finish, brought the film's domestic total to over $440 million.

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